Memoirs of a Flower Child

2007-10-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

dear mega-rib.
you freaking suck poopsicles
i am pissed at you
you kill me
and you make me cry and be slow
and give labor to a 9 pound child
:(

2007-09-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

i am a monstrosity of a human being.
i don't expect forgiveness.
and i am not asking for it.
i don't want to blog, so i don't.
i expect hate letters and bomb threats.
i am well equipped to handle them.
so start sending them in!
i am excited to read them.

2007-09-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

Dorothy moves to click her ruby shoes
Right in tune with dark side of the moon
Someone, someone could tell me
Where I belong
Be calm, be brave, it'll be okay
No more messing around and living underground
And new year's resolutions
By this time next year I won't be here
I turn on MTV, the volume's down
Lips move, they say
It'll be okay
To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
One last time these words from me
I'm never saying them again
and I shut the light
and listen as my watch unwinds
To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half-asleep
I'm never doing that again
I look straight at what's coming ahead
and soon its going to change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeating in my head
Voices calling from a yellow road
To come downstairs and say hello
Don't be shy, just say hello
To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half-asleep
I'm never doing that again
I look straight at what's coming ahead
and soon its going to change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeated in my head

- Guster

This song has changed me. This summer has changed me.
I need to be free.

9.1.07

Hands down, the best night of my entire life.

2007-09-01T17:35:00.001-07:00

It's September 1st.
Do you understand how depressing that is?
Because, I can't even grasp it.
It doesn't help that it is 103 Degrees outside...
It's supposed to be hot in July.
Not September.
This despairs my soul.

We race in 5 days...
WATCH OUT

60TH POST!!!

2007-08-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Trabuco Hills High School,
I already hate you.
You make my Registration Day the most stressful and hectic day of quite possibly my entire life.
First of all, you tell me that I cannot attend good ol' THHS and that I have to attend either El Toro, Laguna, or Mission.
I was taken aback, taken by surprise, overwhelmed, shocked, and pissed.
I cried angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, pissed tears.

I am not even a registered student at the school yet, and I have already sat across from the Principal in his office.
He has already called my parents.
I have already cried in his office in the chair that probably millions of teenage delinquents have sat in.
This is unacceptable.

Then you spring upon me, that I can go there now.
Which makes me really overwhelmed and I cry more.
THEN you tell me to hurry through registration because everybody is closing.
But here's the thing, I was still crying.
I took my picture while crying.
In Mid Tear.
This is unfair.
And the result is that I look like a Gargoyle Butt.
I am angered in every way.

But I guess it's all good, because I don't have to go to Druggie El Toro High School.
WHATEVVAAASS

Here is my schedule:

1 Drama 1 - Sautner
2 Biology - Grams
3 Algebra 2 Honors/IB - Douglass
4 Spanish 1 - Hanneman
5 Eng 1 Honors/IB - Berner
6 Cultural Geography/History Honors - Farley
7 GIRLS CROSS COUNTRY - Coach Kelllyyyy (:

Any classes together? COMMENT !

Plus, it was sweltering hot. And it's still sweltering hot in the air conditioned oasis called my home.

And I hope you all know that this is my 60th post !!!

2007-08-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

I hope you are all aware, that on the day of Saturday, August 25, 2007, I achieved a mile time of...
6 minutes and 50 seconds.
I also hope you are aware that this qualifies me as a 6 minute mile girl.
This means that I would be the proud owner of a Pink shirt at the beautiful RSM Intermediate, if only I was still a pupil there.
My best time before that was 8:23.
Do the math my friends!

Just wanted to let y'all know about one of the biggest accomplishments of my life!
I hate you all (:

Dear Project Runway,

2007-08-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

I would like to know why there has not been a new season of you, the best show on the face of this planet, since FOREVER.
I honestly don't even know when Season 3 was last on.
It has been well over a year.
And now I question whether or not there will even BE a new season, since Tim Gunn has a new show on Bravo.
Why is he on that show?
He should be working on Project Runway.
This delay pains my heart.
I miss you, Project Runway. I miss everything about you.
Now, I resort to watching reruns over and over again.
Like right now.
I guess, I will just have to be content watching reruns of you until a new season comes out.
But, I assure you, if you wait too long to come out, then you will be hearing from me again.
This time in the format of a hate letter.

Good day,
Joanna Chiang
An Avid Viewer.

*EDIT: I fully support you, Tim Gunn and your ventures to your own show, but please. For the sake of us all, go back to PR and give us some good television. I have no doubt that Tim Gunn's Guide to Style will be a great show, but nothing can beat PR. Not even a show dedicated to Tim Gunn, himself. How I love you Tim Gunn, but I just wish for you to return to being a mentor to all the designers at Parsons.

Meet Papa Chiang

2007-08-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Good ol' Paps wanted to be on my blog. So I granted his wish.

I know we're cute. Don't even say it.

2007-08-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

I am now the proud owner of...

MOCCASINS!

Do you even understand how great that is?

They're probably the most comfortable things that have ever graced my veiny feet, and I am going to wear them a lot.

Every day status.

But, the thing is...They are true moccasins. Like they are genuine.

Made by the hands of Jman's Padre.

That is amazing.

In every single way possible.

Seriously.

Wow, I love them.

And, a plus is that I look like Pocahontas in them.

She is my childhood hero.

My life is now complete.

2007-08-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

I am currently wearing the most delicious shirt on the face of this universe.
It smells amazing.
It is soft and big and comfortable.
I stole it from the ground.
It is somebody's.
I am debating whether or not to give it back.
It is the best smell on this earth.
This shirt puts me in a delusion state and I am about to cry, it is making me so happy.
I am pathetic. I know, you don't have to say it.

2007-08-17T21:16:00.001-07:00

I don't understand why basically everybody is going crazy over High School Musical 2.
People are gathering at each other's houses to watch together.
People are throwing parties for this movie.
Our own Heather Leith is attending one.
I am confused as to why our society comes together for a silly Disney channel movie that has the guts to call itself a musical.
This is quite pathetic if you ask me.
And what's the deal with Zac Efron?
He is not hot.
In any way, shape, or form.
In any country, language, or culture.
I don't understand High School Musical altogether.
Wow. I'm kind of infuriated.
This is a travesty that I cannot wrap my brain around.

2007-08-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

If only my life in the past couple days were exciting and worthy of this blogging greatness, I would blog. Fosho, fosho. But since it has not been, I just simply cannot.
But, on the flip side, I am sure it is going to speed up starting TOMORROW!
I believe I am trekking to the safari we call Wild Rivers located in sunny Irvine, California with a few good men.
So, stay tuned my salamander friends.
I hope I am still worthy of your love and passion and that you forgive me one day (:

FAT FAT FAT!

2007-08-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

I slept on a trampoline last night with the original 4 Gypsies.
And before our slumber, we got fat at the Cantina and visited the Octopus Tree and encountered 2 coyotes and a real live Tarantula that we stepped over.
And went to Music Night at the General Store and watched Cooper running to us with an orange unbuttoned shirt with wet hair.
And continued to talk with him and drink Snapple.
Even before this, we had the most pointless day of Cross Country known to man.
We rode on huge carts around the track only to have our hard work wasted for it was brought back to our original destination by some men.
But it was worth it.
And we ran through sprinklers.
And Coach Kelly didn't care.
And we barely even ran.
And it was just great.
And amazing.
And spectacularly fun!
GRANDADDY
And this morning we continued to proceed to eat monstrously huge portions of breakfast foods at the International House of Pancakes which is delicious. Then, I got a haircut.
I shall post pictures later.

This is a poop song...

my canyon escape (:

2007-08-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

Within the depths of Trabuco Canyon, my favorite place on this Earth, there is an Octopus.

An Octopus TREE!

It is my favorite place in the Canyon, I have decided.

But before the Octopus was discovered...

Jessica, Me, and Jantzen hung out today in the Canyon, for today was Jantzen's last day until he goes to Colorado for many many weeks. Poo.

So, Jessica and I channeled our gypsy ways and traveled down to the Canyon to meet up with JMan. We met up with him and got ourselves some refreshing drinks. Green Tea was my drug of choice. Then we went into the place where no man has ever gone before..under the bridge where there is beer galore, but hark! There was none today which was a total surprise.

But, what we did find was amazing. We found..

a GYPSY STAFF!!!

There are piles and piles of leaves under the bridge and I happened to find the most perfect stick on the face of this Earth. It is now sitting contentedly in my room on display for all who pass it's glorious existence.

Oh yeah, and I climbed the tree by the General Store because its a ritual I have to go through. And, I'm not even kidding.

Then, we continued our travelings to the Canyon School where young Cooper and Jantzen both attended in their elementary school days. We stayed there for a couple hours and just laid on the grass and did nothing. But it was SO much fun. I didn't know doing nothing could be so enjoyable and fun. I am taken aback by the enjoyment factor of it. Oh, and we named JMan's left sandal Jim and the right one Thom Yorke.

I climbed a tree there too. Then we hid from Anthony behind said tree. Then, he saw us. But, I wasn't kidding and I thought we would be hidden. But I guess it was obvious that we weren't? I am still bewildered that we were found because I thought it was a good hiding place.

After that, we went to Jantzen's amazing house because he had to pack some more and stuff like that, but we traveled with him. And we went up this large hill to get to his house.

So, we approach his amazing, indescribable, home in his amazing, indescribable neighborhood where Griffin Balmer also lives. We see a cute little green fence and it belongs to the Oshier family!!! So, we go through the green fence, and Jantzen's dad is just sitting in the back of his car and right when we get in, he's like "Hiiiii, you must be Joanna?" pointing to me and I'm like "Yeah!!" and he goes on to say "And who are you?" pointing to Jessica. Then, she says she's Jessica. But, I don't get how he knew me? I've never talked to him ever, never told him my name in my life, never ever seen him...I was kind of weirded out, but I loved it all at the same time. He was friendly and quirky and amazing. So then, he proceeded to tell us how he slammed his fingers into the door and it hurt really bad. And then he's like "Jantz, why don't you give them the tour?"
So then, he takes us to ONE OF their backyards which is wilderness and trees and beautiful. And, there was a broom with a face drawn upon it in red marker, and it was just standing upright. I love it.
THEN, he takes us to the "Apartment" which is where Me and Jessica are living as soon as we can. Because it's absolutely perfect. It was mysterious and comforting and dark and had weird knicknacks everywhere that were absolutely perfect. And this apartment had it's own backyard with a HAMMOCK in it!! Which I tried to sit on and failed miserably. But, you go through the underground bathroom to get to the actual backyard. And to get to the actual backyard, there is a yellow door...Do you understand how perfect? AND there's a balcony where you can see pretty trees and wilderness and canyon on. AND, in the kitchen part, there was this perfect stepping bench thing that was the perfect height for Jessica so she could be able to cook in peace and not have to struggle to reach things! It's absolutely perfect and I honestly want to live there!!! It's seriously indescribable. You would be amazed and in awe and envious. It is just..perfect.

Okay, so then, he takes us into his house which is separated from his garage, which I thought was his actual house because I'm retarded. I didn't really understand. And, his house is amazing and you have to go down stairs to get to his room!!! It was cool. And it was so unembarrassing and normal and Jantzeny and delicious. There was a rooster clock on his desk. But, I liked it. And, it was just delicious and amazing and I loved it all.
THEN, we went into his kitchen where his mom was talking to Cooper's mom, and we looked at pictures of tiny Jantzen and then Jantzen started talking to Cooper on the phone and we were screaming gypsies. Meanwhile, Jantzen's mom didn't even look at us differently. And I told her about my Gypsy Staff and how we are gypsies and she's like "Well, that's a good thing"
Hahah I love her.
And, Jantzen's dad was...in a rocking chair. Outside on his porch... Just..Rocking. It was amazing.

Jantzen then proceeded to take us to Octopus Tree because of my fascination with trees and tree climbing so he thought I would appreciate it, and let me tell you. I did. I truly did. It was like a mile-ish walk (?) to the Tree and theres this other monstrous tree on the way to the Octopus Tree called the Fairy Tree that we also climbed.
THEN, we journeyed onto the Octopus Tree through White Sage plants and Mustard Plants and Sacred Canyon Dirt.
It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my entire life. It is this absolutely monstrous tree with a tire swing, and a hammock and many ropes and carvings. It had perfect ledges and branches to climb upon and sit upon. Octopus Tree is my favorite. Ever. It is the mother of all trees, and trees are the best.
We had to go back after a while though because of the parental units and their dictator-like orders.
But, we walked back to Jantzen's house and had our tearful goodbyes. But not exactly.
And then, me and Jessica, who are both in white flats, empty our feet out. Then, walk in the hot Canyon sun back to the wasteland called RSM. When we got around the lake though, Papa Chiang came and retrieved me ): Twas sad, but I am content with the day's happenings.
Yes, I am. I am quite chipper

All in all, it was a VERY good day. It was kind of perfect, and kind of amazing, and kind of beautiful

JJJ and...C?

Yeah (:

P.S. This doesn't really give today justice because its something you had to experience to really understand. But, I tried my hardest. Because I know how you hate it when I ask you to just talk to me about it in person.

fun (:

2007-08-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

1. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you buy?
GREEN TEA! and Corn Nuts. The flavored good kind.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A seal because they look like they have fun.

3. Favorite redhead?
Lauren Moore. Except she's not a real redhead, but she's my favorite anyways

4. What do you order when you're at IHOP?
Everything!!!

5. Last book you read?
H to the P to the 7

6.Where was your Myspace picture taken?
A Target dressing room

7. Describe the last time you were injured:
My feet and ankles hurt from today, but that's not really an injury.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Jantzen because I could stand on his head and climb out. And for other obvious reasons.

9. Rock concert or symphony?
I enjoy a good helping of Mozart, but I can't help but love Moshing. It's my true calling.

10. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone?
Me, Meldizz, and Jessica in Target in child's pajamas

11. Fizzy drink?
Dr Pepper

13. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life?
Vespa!

14. Most recent movie you've watched at the cinema
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. Absolutely hilarious

15. Favorite Professional sports player?
DAVID BECKHAM YOU SEXY THANG

16. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Everything.

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
Everything.

18. Look to your left, what do you see?
A scanner!

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Not if I don't have to

20. Favorite toy as a child?
Pretend!

21. Do you buy your own food?
Yeah?

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I don't really care

23. When's the last time you had a sour gummy worm?
I don't remember! This is a travesty!

24. What's your favorite fruit?
Mangos are yummy

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
No. Should I?

27. Have you ever eaten snow?
Yeah, but it was more like ice than snow.

28. What color are your bedsheets?
Blue!

29. What's your mom's favorite flower?
I have no clue. I think she likes orchids?

30. Have you ever done ballet?
Never. I am not a graceful being.

31. Do you listen to classical music?
No, I wish

32. Do you have a "wacky noodle?
Sure

33. Do you watch Spongebob?
Ocasionally

34. Last food you ate?
PB & J

35. Do people consider you intelligent?
Yes

36. What time is it?
12:09 PM

37. Is your away message on?
No, tis not.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
YEAH! Childhood memories!!!

39. What color are your bedroom walls?
Gross poop colors that I wish to change.

41. What time is your alarm clock set for?
Nothing

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
iPod.

43. What movie do you know every line to?
Mean Girls

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
YUM SALAD! ANYTHING!

45. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Never say never!

46. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
15!

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Of course

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Um. Yeah.

49. What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
JoWONNA. Blah

50. If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
No, Joanna is boring and ugly.

discovery!

2007-08-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

I learned something about myself today.
I don't know how to talk.
I don't know how to use my mouth and move it to compose understandable sentences.
I need to go to Speech Classes or something.

A probable reason of this lack of oral skills is maybe that I have been isolated in my room for a full day. My brain forgot how to talk.
Hence my pathetic phone call yesterday.
Hence my weird cross country talkings.
Hence I suck.

Any Suggestions or Advice for my poor soul?

wow.

2007-08-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

I no longer deserve to be an occupant of this earth nor to be called a righteous human being.
The most pathetic phone call in the history of the world has been experienced by yours truly.
I am honestly mortified and I am shunning myself and entering an orb of darkness.
Nomad has told me to "forget about it!" and "it isn't that big of a deal." and "he probably doesn't even think it was weird" and "it could have been worse!"
I am trying to believe it for myself.
I am trying to get over it.
But, the fact of the matter is, I am not worthy of speaking to a human being ever again.

I have made a careful decision and I am becoming a mute. Don't try to stop me.

Out of all Lizzie McGuire moments, this one tops the list.

Try and top it.

I dare you.

:D

2007-08-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

This song now has new meaning. It's old and I used to dislike it, but now..It has been reborn in Joanna's eyes (:

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

-Plain White T's

YESTERDAY!

2007-08-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

Wow. Yesterday was so amazing.
It consisted of:

Shameless singing, dancing, crazy car rides
The Fair with Jessica, Cooper, and Jantzen
Jessica's Boisterous Southern grandma
Cooper's mom's allowing-ness
Sticking to a wall in a spinning circle of doom with Me and Jantzen's legs and body parts intertwined. Unintentionally. Ish?
Losing my EnV in the spinning circle of doom, then finding it frantically
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and Hey There Delilah
Piley Meaty Sandwiches
Getting married again to my ex-husband.
Spitting on people and throwing coins at people under us on the chairlift
Watching Cooper's fencing lessons and seeing him own everyone's faces.
Jantzen thinking some guy is Cooper, and him being embarrassed when he figures it out.
Piggy back rides everywhere with protruding sharp hips ):
FSD!

It was probably one of the best days ever. It comes second only to July 20th. Wow

I wanna Rock and Roll all night, and PARTY EVERYDAY

TWO IN ONE !!

2007-07-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

As I have vowed to my master, RKP, I shall do every survey that she posts.
Hark, she posted TWO. And then I thought, "Hey, why not do a double whammy post and have two surveys in one instead of wasting valuable post space?"
Then I thought "Wow, I'm a good conserver."
This is the result (:

SURVEY UNO

What would you be if you could be ...

A Vegetable I would be Baby Bok Choy. For the obvious reasons.

An Animal Maybe a sloth because they're allowed to be lazy and sleep all day and their madre doesn't yell at them.

A Fruit Kiwi because I'm currently eating it and it is quite delectable.

A Color Hmm. Maybe yellow. Or orange because they are sunny colors. And I like to think of myself as a somewhat sunny person.

A Household Object A blender. Because I mix things up!!!

Article of Clothing Shorts because legs should be allowed to breathe and I want to be the object that allows that freedom.

A Drink Green Tea because it is the most amazing drink in all the land

A Famous Person Karen O. We've discussed my obsession before. Must I explain again?

A Film Character Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's played by the stunning Audrey Hepburn. Just because she is who she is. AND maybe Esmeralda in Hunchback of Notre Dame because that woman is one TOPSY TURVY gypsy!

A Cartoon Character Snoopy because he seems content not talking and just contently laying on top of his red dog house. He just seems like a content canine.

A Car An offroading Jeep with no doors and windows because I would think that would be quite the adventure. I likada adventure.

A City New York City because it seems very hectic and exciting and busy and fun! Or maybe, somewhere like Bethesda, Maryland because I could be all by my lonesome in my content exsistence. Either would be nice

A Country Australia because then I'd get to hear the accents every waking minute. But I don't think countries have ears. But if they did, I'd want to be Australia

A Mythical Creature Does a Gypsy count?

A Chocolate Bar Twix because they're luscious and delicious and caramelly and amazing

A Book Hmm. The Bible because almost all of the world knows I am in existence and that's a pretty cool thought

A Sport I liiiike volleyball!

A Word Ginger.

One of Your Family I don't get it.

One Of Your Friends I don't get this either.

SURVEY DOS

Last Time You...

Last person you hugged I think a person named Jman

Last car ride Less than 3 hours ago back from MelDawg's home.

Last time you cried Not long ago

Last movie you watched The Guardian like 18 times

Last food you ate Marie Callenders chicken pot pie

Last item you bought Caffe Vanilla Frappucino and a Breakfast Sandwich from Starbucks !

Last shirt you wore A wife beater for Cross Country

Last phone call Papa Chiang

Last text message Meldizz I think

Last kiss I kissed mi madre. And if yourrr talkin smoochies? I got nothing

Last thing you touched The keyboard

Last funeral I don't remember. I think my grandpappy's a long long time ago.

Last trip to the mall 3 days ago

Last time you were excited for something Today!!! I am excited for RKP's homecoming.

Last person you saw Papa Chiang

Last thing you drank Some good ol' H20 never fails.

Last person that broke your heart Never. But, I think I broke RKP's heart a little while ago. But I don't care because I hate her dearly

Last time you were happy I am a morbid soul, so I wouldn't remember.

Last plane ride I think like 2 summers ago?

Last dream I don't remember. But I remember it was a really stressful dream and I woke up panicked and stressed.

TEN TEN TEN

2007-07-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

This survey extravaganza is taking over my world !!!

TEN FAVORITES
01. televison show: Project Runway
02. flower: I like leaves
03. color: Yellow is the color of the Gods
04. sport: Squash
05. drink: GREEN TEA!!
06. music: That would be an impossible list to compile.
07. food: If Mexican is available, I will always choose that.
08. season: I like them all
09. animal: Pandas
10. city: The canyon if that counts.

TEN FACTS
01. hometown: RSM
02. hair color: DARK brown, or black for you simpletons.
03. hair length: Mediumish
04. hair style: Blob
05. eye color: dark chocolat`e
06. shoe size: 8 or 8.5
07. mood: Calm
08. orientation: Straight. I go for the men.
09. available?: Yessirr
10. lefty/righty: Righty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
01. have you ever been in love: No
02. do you believe in love: Yes
03. why did your last relationship fail? There hasn't been one.
04. have you ever been heartbroken: No
05. have you ever broken someone’s heart: I don't think so.
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend: No
07. have you ever loved someone but never told them: No
08. are you afraid of commitment: Sometimes
09. have you ever had a secret admirer: Lord Voldemort
10. do you believe in love at first sight: No, not real love

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT
01. love or money: Love
02. hard liquor or beer: Neither
04. one night stands or relationships: Relationship
05. televison or internet: Internet!
06. pepsi or coke: Green Tea
07. wild night out or romantic night in: Both
08. colored or black and white pictures: Both
09. phone or in person: In person
10. aim or myspace: Both

TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
01. have you ever been caught sneaking out: No
02. have you ever skinny dipped: Yes hahaha
03. have you ever done something you regret: Yeah
04. have you ever bungee jumped: I wish!
05. have you ever been on a house boat: No
06. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: I would throw up
07. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: No
10. have you ever been caught by your parents doing it? No

TEN EMOTIONS
01. are you missing someone right now: YES
02. are you happy: Sure
03. are you talking to anyone right now: Yes
04:are you bored: Somewhat
05. are you german: No
06. are you irish: No
07. are you french: No
08. are you Italian: No
09. are your parents still married: Yeah
10. do you like someone right now: Yes bahaha

Wow, that was boring. I apologize

I AM JEDI !!

2007-07-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

I just got back from canoodling with a certain Jessica Lee and Lauren Moore.

So we decided to go to Starbucks, but I brought a light saber. Jessica brought a poster tube. Lauren was weaponless. We massacred trees and plants and cars and the ground and the air.

It was great fun, I have to say.

In Starbucks, I was swooshing the saber around and in front of people when they walked by. There was a small child with curly hair and I swooshed it in his face. Then, I retreated because he was eyeing me viciously with a look saying "I WANT YOUR LIGHT SABER FOR MY OWN EVIL DOINGS!" I continued with a hiding of my saber for I love it so, and it is my only companion in this world. I screamed "MINE!" But, I was serious.

If you want to be accepted into my world, I would appreciate if you bought me a light saber and gifted it to me. You would forever be the light of my life.

Good thing Jessica documented it because this would not be complete without a genuine photograph ! Above is me at Starbucks attacking the Christmas tree that I brought.

JAH

2007-07-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

[What's in your wallet?] 5 One dollar bills, a buttload of change, receipts, cards of many a sort, and a Ginger Candy label from the Lee that I vowed to keep forever

[What's under your bed?] Everything. It scares me

[What's on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet?] A baby blue butterfly backpack and a lot of shoe boxes.

[What's in your underwear drawer?] I don't have an underwear drawer. My underwear container thing is a monster and I don't want to know what's in it.

[What's in the trunk of your car?] My grandma

[What's in your desk or locker?] My desk has 3 Sobe Green Tea bottles, 5 water bottles, a lot of clothes, a desk lamp, a pencil box from Kindergarden, a lot of writing utensils, a lot of nail stuff, random CD's, random papers, and a Harry Potter water bottle that I won. This is all scattered everywhere.

[Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what's in it?] My Disneyworld Ball thing that I put Christmas money and stuff in, but theres none in now.

[Do you feel guilty about something right now, if yes what?] Not really. Kind of.

[What is the most embarrassing thing in your room right now?] I keep my Green Tea bottles and never plan on throwing them away.

[Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about?] No.

[What is your last thought before you fall asleep?] Hahahahhahahahahahhaha

[How long have those leftovers been in the fridge?] I don't keep track of my refrigerator

[If I confiscated your computer and took a look around....what would I find?] Nothing, I'm using my dad's laptop which I am currently on the verge of giving back. It has nothing.

[Do you sleep with anything?] My Pocahontas blanket

[What is your midnight snack weakness?] Toast

[Have you ever you shop lifted?] Most recently was the soup from Ralphs. It wasn't even good

[Have you ever vandalized anything?] I lightsabered trees and cars today.

[Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?] No, it was pitchblack moonlight.

[What do you wait until no one is looking to do?] Pick my boogers (:

[Have you told the truth in this survey?] Everysingle thing was the truth. And that isn't kidding.

i'm turning into RKP !

2007-07-26T11:58:00.001-07:00

Full Name: Joanna Chiang

Nickname(s): Slut. Gypsy.

Birthday: June 8, 1993

Birthplace: Fountain Valley Hospital

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Heritage: Gypsy is my true heritage

Eye Color: dark chocolat`e

Now to the JUICY stuff!

Where do you want to live when you grow up? San Diego or Colorado

What's your BEST physical feature? My nail beds.

What's your BEST personality trait? I eat a lot

Worst? I eat a lot

What did you want to be when you were younger? A teacher and a vet. I was a typical child

What's your biggest regret? I don't really regret things. I feel bad for things I did, but I don't dwell and I usually forget about it like 2 days later.

Have you ever been stalked by some wierdo? No, I'm usually the stalker.

How long do you think you will live? I am immortal like Lord Voldemort

What is your most HAPPY experience? There's WAY too many, I could never choose

Most PAINFUL? When my Grandpappy marinated my left foot in hickory barbecue sauce and devoured it 2 seconds later.

Do you strive to fit in? I strive to fit in with Rachel's college boyfriend because I want to steal him.

Have you ever, purposely, lit yourself on fire? Obviously

What is(are) your favorite color(s)? Yellow and many variations of the color.

Least favorite? Poo

Have you ever fallen down the stairs? Now answer truthfully! Yes actually, I have.

Ever broke a bone? NEVER!

Have you kissed anyone within the last 24 hours? Lord Voldemort did.

Have you ever fallen for your best friend? No, I am not of a Girl-Loving-Population.

Ever been to jail? Only to the one underneath my house to whip my slaves.

Ever seen someone die? No

Have you ever questioned your heart? Yes

Have you squished your barefeet through the mud? Yes, its an amazing experience.

What is your favorite type of music? I don't know how to classify it

What is the last thing you bought from the pharmacy? A magazine and some Altoids

Do you think you are crazy/insane? Gypsies aren't crazy or insane. That's a stupid question

Have you ever drowned a fish? I'm pretty sure that's not possible

What is the WORST gift you've ever received? A Bratz doll. But at the time, I wanted it.

What annoys you the most? When people are hypocritical

What is your favorite food? Item or type. I will consume everything in my sight, but if I have the choice, I go for the Cholo Food

Do you have any fears? Yes

What are your Turn Ons? There are many, but a genuine smile that's not fake in any aspect and a genuine heart. If you have good shoes, that's a plus (: But mostly, if you are genuine.

Turn Offs? Also a lot. But if your boring, you are not for Joanna Chiang.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes

Have you recently colored with crayons? I don't think so?

Ever been kissed underneathe the mistletoe? Nope, I've never seen mistletoe in real life.

Have you had your tongue stuck to a Popsicle? No, but I tried it the other day !!!! It didn't work

If you could marry ANYONE, who would it be? AHAHAHA um!

What is your favorite candy? I like Whoppers a lot. But I wouldn't consider them my favorite

Favorite Store? The General Store (:

Do you have a luck number? If so, what is it? My favorite number is 9 if thats what your asking

Who is your bestest friend in the whole wide world? I have 3

Which one of your friends have you known the LONGEST? BABY ROSHY I LOVE YOU

Do you drink milk? EVERY DAY!

Do you play an instrument? I have played many instruments in my lifetime: Piano, Recorder, Violin, and Guitar. The instrument I am best at playing is GUITAR HERO YAY

Do you smoke? I don't want a hole in my throat, sorry.

Have you ever been drunk? No.

Who is your role model? I have a billion. But I say, Karen O & Jesus Christ combined into one person. If that is possible.

Who looks up to you? Troysky Junior, my beloved son.

Can you eat whatever you want and not worry about it? Basically

Chocolate or vanilla? Both

Cake or pie? Both

Chinese food or Mexican food? CHOLO FOOD ALWAYS!

Strawberries or blueberries? Both

How many rings until you answer the phone? I don't count, and mine isn't rings. It's a song

Can you dance? No. I can Gangalize though.

Sing? My name is Fookling.

Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs? YES

Are you too scared to watch scary movies by yourself? No

Have you ever laughed so hard that you peed your pants? It's my favorite pastime, actually

Have you ever, at any time, owned any New Kids on the Block stuff? RACHEL, YOU'RE WRONG! THE CHINESE FOOD MAKES ME SICK SONG IS BY LFO, YOU STUPID!

What movie makes you cry when you watch it? Every movie makes me cry.

Would you eat a cockroach for $500? Is that even a question? YES

Are you bored? No, I am content in my Harry Potter extravaganza

Do you like roller coasters? They are my pride and joy

Do you believe in vampires? Only because my family is from Transylvania

If you could become one, would you? No, I've seen what Vampirism does to you. I have first hand experience

Have you ever blown a beverage out of your nose? Root beer almost!

If you could travel into space, where would you go? The Black Hole to meet Chauna at the MCR Concert.

Would you choose to be very rich or to find true love? True Love does NOT always fade. What are you thinking, Rachel! I CHOOSE TRUE LOVE!

Do you like surprises? Yes

Sneakers/heels/flats? Flats

Shorts/jeans/skirt? SHORTS. My legs need to breathe. However, Jeans are also likable, but they kind of suffocate my legs.

Do you snore? No, I am not congested in any way, shape, or form.

Have you ever been suspended? For cutting Johnny Kolendich's hair during the SAT's.

Are you a health freak? No.

Do you believe in God? Yes I do

What is your favorite holiday? I can't choose. Roshashana is nice though.

Favorite local band? Summer Wilshire, Sun From Shadow, Courage Call, AVNER !

Favorite song? That's not a question. It's a way to torture Slut.

FINISH THESE SENTENCES...

Let's walk on the: Egyptian pyramids

Let's look at the: world

What a nice: boy!

Where did all the: gypsies go?

Why can't we: be friends!

Silly little: fairy!

Isn't it wierd that: I want to be in the Canyon right now?

Never, under any circumstance: will I stop eating food

I wish: a lot of things

Everyone has a: slit nose

Which came first,: I dont get it.

How many licks does it take: to fill up a bathtub?

2007-07-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

Name
Joanna Chiang

Nickname
I respond to Slut.

Best memory
July 20, 2007 and the good ol' elementary school days when you were all carefree and didn't care about anything at all.

Worst memory
When God wasn't in my life

Best dream
I never remember my dreams. I know, it's a sad thing.

Worst nightmare
Being lonely in a room full of people

Weaknesses
Beautiful men like Eli. The Canyon Folk. You know what I'm talkinnn about (:

Strengths
I can bench 800.

Anyone have the same birthday as you?
Mrs Lukin and her twin (:

Would you...

die for a friend?
A best friend, yes.

die for your crush/bf/gf?
It depends on the situation

die for your family?
Yes

ever kill yourself?
Never.

Kill someone else?
Never. Maybe figuratively

If you had to choose-

save your cat or save your enemy?
I'd rather a cat die than a human, no matter how much I hate them.

rather freeze or burn to death?
Freeze because you'd go numb after awhile. Burning, you'd feel everything and it would hurt like a mother.

admit you love someone?
Yes

break the law or lie to save a friend?
Depends

Have you ever...

cut yourself?
When I shave. Not intentionally

been in love?
No

thought about suicide?
Kind of. But not really for my own self. Just about it in general

hated someone so much you thought you would really kill them?
No

starved yourself?
NO I LOVE FOOD I COULD NEVER DO THAT!!!

forced yourself to cry?
No

forced yourself to throw up?
No.

betrayed a friend?
No. Julie Shapiro doesn't count as a friend, Rachel.

hurt someone else so you would feel better about yourself?
Not intentionally, but probably.

Which is worse?

(P.S. I think Rachel did this section wrong. She did it the other way around)

your friend dying or your parent dying
Parent

losing all your old memories or never being able to make new ones
Never being able to make new memories is worse because it's like Lucy in 50 First Dates. I could never live like that

being rejected by someone you love or having your feelings returned only...
to be dumped a month later
Being Rejected!

being raped or willingly having sex and later regretting it:
Being raped is definitely worse

having no emotions or only being happy once every couple of months
No emotions

losing all your friends on earth or never having found God
Never finding God. You neeeeed God. God could be your best friend (:

being dumped or dumping someone
being dumped is worse!

falling in love with an anime character or falling in love with a celebrity
Which is worse? I don't think falling in love with Seshomaru is a good thing. At least falling in love with Adam Brody is normal.

a friend moving away or losing touch with a friend who lives right near you
Losing touch with a friend who lives right near you

Dreams

What is your dream in life?
I want unlimited money. But that sounds really greedy. I also want world peace! Haha

Do you have insomnia?
No, but I'm nocturnal if that counts for anything.

Do you often wake up in the middle of the night after a bad dream?
Never happened.

Do you get deja vu?
Yes and I flip out every time

Did you ever have a dream that came true?
Not that I know of?

What about a nightmare?
No?

Did you ever have a realistic dream that truly scared you?
I married Perry Fein ):

Do you daydream?
Yes, quite often.

Have you ever dreamed you were falling?
Yeah, sometimes I just feel like I was falling and then I jerk awake and then it's all dark and I get scared and I try not to think of scary things, but then I just end up thinking of Exorcisms and stuff and I get really scared and then I fall asleep (:

Fears

Greatest fears
I fear I will be rejected or a failure in life. Or I won't find real and genuine love. I fear I will be lonely in a room full of people that I'm supposed to love and are supposed to love me.

What are you not afraid of at all?
Lord Voldemort. I used to be, but then I just think about kissing him and I laugh.

Name a weird phobia you have.
Birds? I've been told that is irrational.

Has your fear ever come true?
Somewhat.

Is your fear a common fear?
I dont know?

Any particular reason for the fear?
Wait...Are we talking about birds?

Does it ever control your life?
Birds do not control my life, if that's what your asking.

Have you had nightmares about the fear?
I don't remember dreams, I told you!

Are you more afraid of rejection or failure?
Both

The Past

Most missed memory
My family and how it used to be

How have your feelings changed throughout your life?
A lot?

First memory
Lauren Sunyich, Kelsey Wilson, Tyler Something, and I roleplaying Pocahantas.

Happiest childhood memory
Sleeping over at Kelsey Wilson's house and then eating a Pink Sprinkled Donut and throwing up. Then having to walk across their lawn back to my house in my Barbie Nightgown.
And just...living on Via Anadeja.

Saddest childhood memory
Moving from Via Anadeja

What was your first word?
I dont know. My parents didn't document my childhood either!!!

First friend?
Lauren Sunyich and Kelsey Wilson

First crush?
Michael David Belmer hahaha

First love?
None

What would you do if...

your best friend died because of you?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'd go into depression and pop pills all the time probably. I would sleep.

your true love moved out of the country?
I would go with him, but it depends on the situation.

your friend gave you the choice of cheating on the really tough math final?
That also depends on the situation

a friend offered you drugs or alcohol?
I would use my refusal skills and say NO! But really.

a friend of the same gender told you they were gay and asked you out?
I would be bizarred because I am in no way a lesbian. And that would confuse me that they would want to go out with me.

your bf/gf asked you to have sex with them?
Right now, I say that I would say No, I want to wait till marriage, but who knows? I want to stay true to God and not have premarital sex, but I don't know what I'd realllly do.

you were sexually abused?
I don't know. I really do not know.

you were betrayed by someone you trusted and cared about?
I would be really disapointed and probably lose my trust for anybody. At least for awhile.

you found out your friend wanted to die?
I would try to help her to the best of my ability.

Final Thoughts

Are you saved?
Yes, since January 23, 2007

Do you believe in God?
Absolutely

Why or why not?
There isn't a reason for these kinds of things. I just do and I know in my heart why, but there aren't any words to express that.

Are you depressed or sad all the time?
No

What are you hoping for in the future?
A prosperous life with a husband that I love, healthy children, a nice house, etc. But I would throw that ALL away if I wasn't happy.
I just want to be happy in life.

What makes you happy?
People. (They hopefully know who they are) Cholo Food. MUSICCCCAA. Green TEA. The Canyon and the Canyon Folk. (: And those tiny things that just bring joy into your heart. I could never make a complete list of what makes me happy. That is impossible

What makes you sad?
The society we live in.

Do you believe in the Bible?
Yes.

Why or why not?
There is not a reason for these things! If my heart believes it, then my heart believes it! Why must you question my heart?!

I TAG YOU!

i'm a losaaaar

2007-07-25T23:33:00.002-07:00

So, as all of the world knows, the last book of the Harry Potter trilogy, except its a 7-ogy, came out on July 20th 2007. That was last Friday.
Normal Harry Potter followers bought the book that night and started reading right away and are probably done by now.
But, I am not a normal being. I DID buy the book that night, or actually the next morning, but here's the thing.
I don't remember the 6th book whatsoever. I called Danya Elk the HP MASTAAA to refresh my memory. I didn't remember at all. Whatsoever. She just told me the gist, and I still didn't remember.
And that is the reason why I'm re reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!!!
I am going to be like a month behind, and I will refuse for people to tell me the outcome in the 7th book. I will flat out refuse and scream at them. I be loser.

MY TOESIES!

2007-07-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

Heather Christianne Leith sucked the big toe on my right foot.
I cry.

kissykisssyyyy

2007-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Melissa and I have discovered that Lord Voldemort is a great person to base your jokes around.

For example, Melissa Crap, Heather Kitten, and I were lounging in my jacuzzi playing "Who Would You Rather Kiss" I know, I know, immature to its fullest extent, but we are boy crazy children. But here's the catch...We were doing it with all Harry Potter characters, for we had just viewed Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the day before.

So we were like "Snape or Gremlin Midget Man" and we would answer with who you would rather smooch. So this was like an ongoing game that night and it was so hilarious.

Okay here's a true story:

One of us declared, "Voldemort or Karl Punu"

I was honestly bewildered and I chose Voldemort. For serious though. I would rather kiss Lord Voldemort than Karlos Punu.

And then THIS evolved into an insult which is truly insulting.

"If I had the choice to kiss you, or Voldemort...I'd choose Lord Voldemort"

You have to say those exact words, and when you choose to use this insult, you cannot laugh. You have to keep a straight face and be angry at the person. It is probably the funniest thing ever.

Crapster and I decided later on that night we would call various men and insult them with that insult. I was the one who delivered the insult for I was the best at it. Mind you, it was around midnight so many of them were groggy and confused. They didn't get it..

This insult trumps "YOU HAVE A FAT NOSE AND YOUR SIX" insult. By far. Who agrees?

2007-07-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

"IF YOU HAD TO BE A _____________ (who would you be and why)"

1. FAMOUS PERSON FROM HISTORY: Mother Theresa. She seems like a pretty cool gal. I mean, come onnnn. She's Mother Theresa! I can't even imagine how she felt helping all the people she helped. It was probably the best feeling in the whole world.
I'd also like to be Jesus Christ. Self explanatory.

2. CELEBRITY: Rachel McAdams. For one, she has the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world. Ryan Gosling. There are no words to explain Ryan Gosling. Also, her smile is amaazing, her style is very classy, and she is a VVERRRY GOOD actress. She has played so many different roles. They are never the same and she has been amazing in every single role. She's also really down to earth. She seems real and she's not caught up in the whole "Hollywood" shindig.
I also want to be Rachel Bilson for her style and for her sexified boyfriend thats not her boyfriend anymore. I don't know what they were thinking when they broke up. That Adam Brody is a beautiful man, let me tell ya. He is the ideal man for Joanna Chiang. My obsession since 6th grade. Wow.

3. ATHLETE: David Beckham. I know he's a man, but I don't care. He is one of the most beautiful men on this planet. I want to be him. Actually, I want him. But whatever (:

4. FAMOUS MUSICIAN: KAREN O KAREN O KAREN O! She's the front man (front woman?) and singer in the band Yeah Yeah Yeah's which is my absolute favorite band ever. I admire her for her mannerisms. She makes absolutely flawless music and the way she moves is astonishing. I seriously aspire to be Karen O. Plus, the way she can wear anything and everything, no matter how outrageous and crazy, is bewildering. She is the one person I want to be. I know that's impossible, but I just try my hardest anyways. She makes me dance in my heart.

Oh, by the way, Me and Nomad are being Karen O Twins for Halloween. We already planned it.

5. CHRISTIAN MOVER AND SHAKER: If Karen O was Christian, it would be her. I don't think she is. Oh well...She has amazing dance moves. Is that what this is asking for? When I see "Mover and Shaker" I think dancer.

I tag everybody!

melissa CRAP

2007-07-24T21:13:00.001-07:00

melissa crap and I were together from thursday night until tuesday which is tonight. obviously, there has to have been many things that went on. let me tell ya, we had some fun.

Basically, our time together is literally unbloggable. I'm not exaggerating right now..

Just think about this:

Joanna Chiang and Melissa Cripe. The Slutty Gypsy and Conservative Gypsy. Many times of butting heads and many times of hystericality at its best. That's hard for even me to grasp it, but I experienced it.

I truly wish to blog about this, but again..there are no words for these 6 days.

If you really want to know about it, ask me and I'll TRY to put it into words, but it is not an easy task.

This picture tries to summarize these 6 days and fails. That's how amazing it was. So ASK ME ABOUT IT!

P.S. These two blogs suck because they don't tell you anything. I really apologize. I want to blog about this, but it's honestly too explicit and I don't want to offend anyone

7.20 and a REQUEST

2007-07-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

July 20th, 2007. A historical day in JJC's world.
Why don't you guess what happened.
A turkey massacre in Pennsylvania?
No.
A butterfly named Caleb and me giving birth to baby foxes?
No.
A boa constricter eating Genghis Khan?
No.
Lord Voldemort smooching me?
Close, but no.

Well. July 20th, 2007. The longest day of my live. So many mixed feelings and emotions. So many out of control outbursts on the floor. There are no words that can portray the actual feeling of this boisterous day in a blog. Also, almost all of these events are explicit and I do not wish for them to be published on the World Wide Web. And that is why I request a little something from you. If you want to know about this amazing day, then you must talk about it to me in person or on the phone. So you know what to do (:

P.S. I am sorry for being cruel and posting about this when I didn't inform you about the day. But, I couldn't be explicit in this blog, and this whole day was explicit. So, that wouldn't work out. I love you all. Talk to me about it, friends! I must share!

V to the BALL

2007-07-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I am doing a volleyball camp at Trabuco. So, when I decided to do this camp, I had a couple reasons, but none were very substantial.
My reasons:
1) I'm tall.
2) I played at school before.
3) I don't want to do P.E.
4) WHY NOT?

Substantial? I think not.
But, I gave it a try anyways because I was going to have nothing better to do. I didn't think much of it, I just thought it was going to pass the time and get me in shape. Now, I'm in my 4th out of 5 weeks of this camp, and it has turned out to be SO much more.

I love this game. I love it with my whole heart. I usually hate organized sports and anything having to do with them, but seriously...I am passionate. Everything about it, I love. Even the agilities and the sprawls and the shuffling...I complain, but secretly, I love it all. When I'm there, all I think is volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. I don't talk to people...I just play When I'm on the court, I'm nowhere else. Just there, and I'm in the ZONE. I know, cliche, but it's so true.

I know for a fact I'm not one of the best players there. There are about 60-75 girls who show up every day. Out of those girls, about 20 of them play Club Volleyball and have played for more than a year. My first time playing, was the first day of camp... I have a huge disadvantage. Experience is everything, and I dont have that. But, I'm trying to block the Club girls out and befriend them and not let their experience faze me. The coaches are still deciding whether they're going to have a FroshSoph team AND a Freshmen team, or just one team. I really hope they have two teams so that I have a greater chance of making it. If they don't have two teams, that means they're only taking 11-13 girls. That leaves basically no chance for non-Club players and some Club girls wouldn't even make it. If there were two teams, they'd take about 22-24 girls. That still leaves like 4 non-Club girls a spot. That's not a lot. At all. I want this SO bad. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

Now there's 6 more days of practice, meaning only 6 more days to prove I'm good enough. There's even a practice from 7-9 in the morning...Those of you who KNOW me know I wouldn't usually go to that, I'd just skip. But, this is VOLLEYBALL. I'm not going to skip, and I dont want to. I want to make this team, and I'm going to do whatever it takes. I'm going to go every single day, stay late to help clean up, whatever is going to get me on this team.

Whoever reads this, please pray for me. Pray I get better and better every day and that God gives me the perserverance (?) to keep going for what I want. And of course that I make the team. (: If I make this team, I'll get back on the right track. Lately, I've been flaking on everything. Friends, family, myself, and God. I think volleyball is making me focus and realize a lot. It gives me something to go for. I never have goals, but this is a HUGE one. If I make this team, it's going to do so much good in my life, I can tell... I need this.

2007-07-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

so. as you all may have anticipated, this next post was supposed to have something to do with dora nightgowns... it is not. for, melissa cripe has not given me these valuable photographs for me to blog with. and that post requires these photographs, or tis just pointless. so as a substitute, i shall share with you my new found love.

YEAH, YOU GUESSED IT!

TRAINS!

so, let me tell you a little story.

i was in good ol' san diego this weekend with my parentals. we were visiting my cousins, and my parents decided they were going to go home a day early. i said "NAY!" so i just decided i could go home on the train, which i had never done all by my lonesome before. i thought, hey this is going to be an adventure.

the time came for my train extravaganza. i was equipped with my book, my ipod, my cell phone, and my ticket. i was as ready as freddy could be. i boarded the train, looking for a prime seat. i received one; i was on the side of the train closest to the ocean, and all i needed was a hunkman to spice things up. this did not happen, but i did have a run in with a cooper smith lookalike. i wanted to talk to him really bad, but he was occupied in his iPod and drumming his fingers and bobbing his head. i did not want to cause a disturbance, so i didnt.

i think train rides are different for everybody

some people may hate them

some people love them

so the reason i personally love trains...

sitting there all by yourself

getting lost in your music of choice

staring out at the beautiful world that God has created for us

watching the people around you

thinking about things you dont normally think about

thinking about the things you always think about

i love it all

try it sometime

NEW NEW NEW

2007-07-09T18:22:00.001-07:00

I have a story for you. I was feeling a little down in the dumps today and I visited my blog. All it did was continue to keep me down for it had morbid colors that reminded me of darkness. Yuck. I said to myself, "Hey, why not get a new blog layout? A bright and peppy one!" I responded with a joyous "Okay!" What you see before your very eyes is the end result. I am not so sure if I like it very much, but its a nice change from the darkness, if I do say so myself.

Here is a little sneak peek of my next blog.

You will see what comes of this picture when MELISSA CRIPE uploads some exciting pictures. Only God knows when this will happen, so don't get too excited, friends.

Until we meet again!

SHAME

2007-06-30T00:33:00.001-07:00

i am ashamed. shame has been brought upon my family. i don't blog, and i don't feel the need to. i am ashamed because i want to want to blog. but i really don't...
lately, blogging about what has happened to me and stuff does not attract my attention enough to actually do it. i think i have completely lost touch with my blogging center in my heart. i am sorry to all of you. there are many things that i could blog about, but i don't. i dont feel there is a true reason to. do people truly and honestly care about who i hung out with today or what i did today? i have a pathetic life not worth blogging and not worth reading. who seriously cares? i have no creative embarkations or anything...i dont take pictures because i'm lazy, so there is nothing to document. words are boring.

except tomorrow, i am going on a burrito hunt with jesseeekkka leesterrr, so maybe i'll blog about that. and we are making a sacred burrito book which might be worth blogging. and when i hang out with cooper smith, that will be worth blogging, i'm sure. so maybe i'm wrong. maybe i do have a bloggable life, i just don't like it. i feel kind of self-centered blogging about myself and my day...like i honestly think somebody cares to read about my day? i feel really self centered and weird. i dont like the concept. i like the concept for other people, but personally for me, i'm not a blogging person and i am not suitable for the job. so maybe when i get my down time and when i have eventful situations, i shall blog, but don't count on it.

i'm excited to see a certain jewish person and eat mexican foooood!!!
tomorrows going to be gooood. maybe i'll blog. maybe. probably. maybe. probably. i might.
(:

HOO

2007-06-17T22:20:00.001-07:00

I have carefully read all of your complaints, and I must say, that if I wasn't myself, I would complain to myself too. Does that make sense? My guess is no.
Well, I have no time to blog right now, as I have a speech and hat due tomorrow and I have not started at all. It is 10:30 PM. I am unacceptable. I have no excuse for my unblogging self, except for I AM LAZY. In approximately 4-5 days, I shall be free of school stress and shall be able to blog as freely as I want. So wait for it. I will blog like a maniacal human being should.

Mehmet My Love

2007-05-27T16:18:00.001-07:00

A recent comment of mine directed to Heather Leith inspired me to blog.

The Oprah Winfrey Show has always been one of my favorite shows everrr and I watch it religiously, but a certain type of show is my absolute favorite.

When I tune into my daily Oprah and I see the blue screen with the words "Ask Dr. Oz" I immediately drop everything I am doing and watch intently. I am actually tempted to take notes, but I then realize the bizarrity of that course of action, so I refrain.

There is a new Ask Dr. Oz show approximately every month and I learn at least 5 new things from each show. I immediately have to tell my parents and anybody in the vicinity what I have learned.

I truly admire Dr. Mehmet Oz; he will talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with no shame at all. While Oprah is amazed or is cringing with all her might, Dr Oz is not fazed and he just openly teaches the American population about Penis Fishes, Tape Worms, S-shaped Poop, The correct way to WIPE, Et Cetera. Over the course of his Oprah show visits, he has brought in Omentums, (above) Poop, Gall Stones, and Tape Worms. He always shares his easy tips about weight loss, testing to see if you have pin worms, finding your "dominant eye" (mine is my right eye), acupressure, et cetera. And this man will talk about Poop non-stop: What's healthy, What isn't.

Mehmet Oz is teaching the world, one Oprah show viewer at a time, about your body and what should and should not happen. I appreciate his work, I really do. He fascinates me; I admire this man greatly and I highly recommend you to watch one of his shows because you learn SO MUCH fascinating stuff about your body and health.

Take The Dr. Oz Health Quiz and tell me what you got! I got 16 out of 16 on my first try, thank you very much. I'm very proud, so don't bring me down.

i am an interesting woman

2007-05-26T15:15:00.001-07:00

I have been tagged by one of my favorite people: Heather

Six interesting things about Joanna Chiang and her complex mind...

1. I have 18 pairs of shoes in my room and I only wear like 3 of them. On occasion, I wear the other 15.
2. If I have just met you or have just had an amazing bonding experience with you, odds are I'm thinking about you nonstop for at least a day. I just realized this about myself. It's not stalker-esque. I just do.
3. When I'm sick, and I have just waken up, I get really really confused because I feel like the tiniest thing in the world. I close my eyes and I feel like I'm in a humongous empty warehouse just laying there by myself and things are falling on top of my brain and I'm not allowed to go to sleep. I can't even explain it.
4. I don't remember the last time I barfed/thrown up/puked or whatever you want to call it. All I know is that it's been years.
5. I will eat basically anything you put in front of me, as long as it's nothing like buffalo toes or something inhumane like that. Even if I don't like how it tastes, I'll still finish it, and say I like it.
6. I've decided I will call myself a "middle person." I like to be alone, but then I like to be around people too. I like to be quiet, but then I like to be loud. I like waking up early, but I like sleeping in too. I like being casual, but I like getting dressed up. Et Ceteraaa. Some might call me indecisive or whatever, but I just think I'm a person who can adapt to anything, do anything, and still enjoy it with my whole heart.

Okay, so that post made me think about a lot of stuff and I actually thought about myself and learned about myself. I'm in a really sentimental weird mood and I feel like pondering life, so I apologize if I sound like a psycho freak bizarre sentimental philisophical complex person. But then again, I am one.

I tag anybody who reads this.

NEW FOUND PASSIONNNNNNNN

2007-05-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have a new found passion. And a long story about the acquiring of le passion to accompany.

This passionate day was Monday, May 7, 2007. I skipped track which I have been doing frequently in the past 2 weeks and was expecting an amaaaaaazing creation from Coldstone Creamery by the one and only Otto Man.
Danya Elk and I trotted on over to the favorite store of Joanna Chiang. What was to be found was a horrendous sight. We see that it is quite dark in the store. I am puzzled. I peer through the glass doors expecting to see Otto working on a creation.
I do not.
I begin to panic. I insist on SCREAMING and POUNDING on the glass doors and windows and YELLING "OTTO OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR NOWW." In spite of my efforts, there is no answer. By this time, I am on the verge of tears. I come to the conclusion that today, for some unfortunate occurance, Coldstone was not open. Twas a blazing hot day. How could it not open? Danya and I resumed standing there for approximately 5 more minutes in hopes of Otto Man miraculously poofing out of nowhere. Nothing.
So, Jessica Lee and Lauren I-Don't-Know-Her-Last-Name come over to our hysteric selves. They share our sadness. They suggest that they are going to head on over to Baja Fresh to indulge in burritos. I was starving, so I agreed and dragged Danya along. We reached our destination and I decided on a Chicken Baja Burrito ENCHILADO Style. I did not know what I was about to feast my eyes and tastebuds on. After waiting approximately 5 minutes, my buzzer buzzed. I was number 43.
I retrieved my feast and dug in. My first bite was...one word...orgasmic. I'm sorry I had to resort to that word, but that's the only word that described this Chicken Baja Burrito Enchilado Style.
On the middle of the plate was a burrito the size of Ginny Kutcher SMOTHERED in red sauce and melted cheese. Alongside was a heaping of sour cream (Daisy no doubt) and pico de gallo. If that wasn't enough, there is a helping of slightly burnt CHIPS with just the right amount of cheese and sauce. Can you say PERFECT? I ate this heavensent creature in record time and wasn't even full. I could've eaten 5 more.
So on May 8, 2007, OTTO WASN'T THERE?!?!??!?!?!?!?! It was just the owners!!! Danya and I thought of the most horrible thought: What if Otto doesn't work there anymore. We asked the man if Otto still worked there and he's like "Yes he isn't here today though."
We clicked our heels in joy and continued to Baja Fresh because you can't have Coldstone without Otto. I ordered another CHICKEN BAJA BURRITO ENCHILADO STYLE and gorged. DELISH.
Then I had a revelation. The total cost of one burrito is $8.14 I know it's ridiculous. But I truly believe that it is worth every single penny. THEN I realized I could not go on eating one every day which is what I was planning. This is because if I spent $8.14 everyday, that would calculate out to $40.70 a week and that is UNETHICAL! AND to think about how many calories and how unhealthy that is? I decided to limit myself to 3 times a month at the most. That's still a lot a lot. But I can't hold back my passion. That's not healthy.

The next time you are at Baja Fresh, I advise you to order the Chicken Baja Burrito Enchilado Style. You will appreciate it, I assure you.

Buy this shirt for me.

help.

2007-04-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Joanna has the superb urge to blog.
There is a problem at hand.
She doesn't know what to blog about.
Nothing is blog-worthy in this woman's life.
This is where you, my loyal readers, come in.

Tis time for you to give me suggestions for what to blog about.
I'd appreciate Lists. For example, What Annoys You. Except SPICIERRR.
Preferably something that I can actually compose a good post about. Not something completely and utterly bizarre that I can only think of one thing.
I know I'm asking a lot.
But for the sake of mankind...Please?

I'll be waiting (:

elvis outside my window?

2007-04-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

So, I guess there's a party a couple streets away from my house. And, there is a horrible Elvis impersonator singing Viva Las Vegas and various other Elvis Presley songs. Very. Very. Very. Very. VERY. Loud. And plus there's a buttload of drunk women screammmmmmmming. And do you realize that I can hear all of this through my bedroom window? I can't see where this racket is coming from, but it is disturbing the peace.
A part of me really wants to go join this shindig, but then that would just be bizarre. And plus it's 11 PM. That would not be ethical.

WHAT. NOW THE SWEET ESCAPE IS PLAYING? I AM SO BIZARRED. I THOUGHT IT WAS ELVIS IMPERSONATOR NIGHT. BIZARRRRE. I don't understand this party. Before the Elvis Impersonator, there was like..Bingo/Raffle? Something like that and it was an infectious African American woman as the announcer host thing. So then after this Bingo/Raffle Ordeal, Elvis kicks off his hour-long performance of assorted Elvis songs. Now, the Sweet Escape is playing. By Gwen Stefani. This is a bizarre party that I don't understand the meaning of. Bingo plus Elvis impersonators plus Gwen Stefani does not equal a party.

So now I have decided I will document this party as it is happening. And I apologize for the poor form of Blogging-ness that this Post shall have because I will not be editing it. I am typing as it is happening from the depths of outside my window.

NOW FERGALICIOUS IS PLAYING?!?!
I hear an array of women WOOOO-ing. I'm guessing a bottle or 10 of champagne was involved? I can picture a bunch of intoxicated 30-something Orange County women having this party and having a blast. Oh dear... I think there's a DJ? Because it's not the regularr Fergalicious. I hear some scratching/remixing going on? BIZARRE. 30-SOMETHING YEAR OLD WOMEN DON'T GET DJS TO SCRATCH FOR THEM AT PARTIES. ISN'T THAT LIKE. FROM THE 90'S? THIS IS 2007 MY LADIES. I'm so bizarrrrred.
Now they're announcing winners? 1st place is Sydney! Followed by hysterical screaming and clapping.
FOLLOWED RIGHT AWAY BY MY HUMPS. WHATT THE HECKKKKKKKKK. Honestly? I'm speechless and I don't know what to do. My mom just told me to close the window but I was like NO. I'M LISTENING TO A PARTY. And she rolled her eyes and left. (:
My Humps has adjourned. NOW I HEAR A CHORUS OF I LIKE BIG BUTTS???????
I WANNA GET WITCHYAA AND TAKE YO PICTCHYAA. The line of making "me so horny" brought upon a LARGE OUTCOME of screams of the word "horny." YOU DON'T DO THAT.
This is vulgarity to its full extent. I don't appreciate 30 year old women listening to this and enjoying it. I really don't.
PLAY THAT FUNKAY MUSIC WHITEBOYYYY...Only a few lines of this 70's favorite.
It has quickly changed to I WILL SURVIVE. Another crowd pleaser. Maybe they're not feeling the funk right now.
3 LITTLE BIRDS SAT ON MY WINDOWW. Corinne Bailey Rae after I will Survive. Great choice, ladies. I really don't understand this playlist. Not a good transition.
Alright. So now, Yeah by Usher my former love has come on.
This is the puzzlement of the world. This is a crowd pleaser. This has brought upon an even bigger craze of screams.

Okay. So I think I'm done with this blogging extravaganza.
I dont think you readers care about this party.
But twas entertaining for awhile.
I might keep adding on if I hear a little somethin somethin thats interesting.
HOKAY
See you on the FLIP SIDE
my friends. (:

My Perfect Man

2007-04-22T01:03:00.000-07:00

Now, I am not a picky person. But, when it comes down to MEN, I just have a few criteria that I would prefer.

Witty/Funny/Clever. If he can make me laugh, I will love him forever. However, do not confuse this with TRYING to be funny. He must be genuinely funny...his actions have to make me laugh. Carefree hilarity is the BEST. If he's not funny even the slightest bit, then he's definitely not the man for me.
Shoes. Good shoes. Not gross chunky running shoes. I don't care if he looks like he's been living in a gutter. As long as he has good shoes, he's cool in my book. They don't even have to be clean. A little dirt is good for everyone. That's not asking so much, right?
Dark hair (: I am not so into blondes to tell you the truth. Unless it's dark dark blonde..almost brown. Then I can bear it. But blondes are just so... stereotypical hunkman. and I don't like typical.
Smile. If he has an infectious smile, I will SWOOOOON. I don't mean Crest White Strips Commercial smile, but a good fun-loving smile. That also doesn't mean plaque-infested teeth that are green. I will probably shun you if you have green teeth. If his smile lights up the room, he will light up my life.
Laid back. I want a man who can just hang out with me without going out somewhere exciting. My company should just be enough. And uptight-ness is not attractive.
Fun & Playful. We must be able to have fun anywhere we go.
EYESEYESEYES! Not what they look like, but... how you use your eyes? I don't like when people can't make eye contact with you.
Healthy. If he likes to put crap in his body, I'm not down with that. The occasional fast food isn't bad but if you're killing yourself with GREASY foods, then that's bad. Everything in moderation.
Intelligent & Thoughtful. If I can have an enjoyable and intelligent conversation with him then that's a big plus.
Open. He has to be open to new things and willing to try anything.
Spontaneous. Boring is boring. No boring in my life. Be spontaneous with me!
Romantic. Not like romantic restaurants...unconventional romantic if that makes sense.
Taller than me! I'm tall-ish. Taller than 5'7 isn't hard for most guys. Preferably a couple inches taller though. Think at least 5'10.
Complex. I don't want to be able to know everything about him right off the bat.
Tolerant. This doesn't mean "Hey. Look a gay person. I'm not going to prosecute them, but I don't agree with their lifestyle." This means "Everyone is equal. Gay, straight, black, hispanic, asian, white. It doesn't matter." That is one of my many philosophies in life and if he shares this philosophy, that would be nice.
Quirky. He has to have his own little quirks that I can't even dream up.

My perfect man will be his own person. Not a duplicate of me in male form & not like one in the movies.

So that is a REALLY long list. I'm definitely not expecting him to have every single one of those qualities or whatnot. Those are just things that are attractive in the eyes of Joanna Chiang and any one of those qualities would be great.

So..PERFECT MAN? COME FIND ME!

(cheeeeesyy^^^)

FOUR TWENTY

2007-04-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

So basically I just wrote a FREAKINGAMAZING post about my day on April 20th.
Well guess what. It closed on me. It closed on me. It freaking closed on me. And I am angered. It was so GOOD. And now, I have to rewrite it again. So I apologize if it's not great because I am only half-heartedly rewriting this. Okay. Here we go.

Yesterday was the fateful day of...

FOUR TWENTY.

For all you people who don't know what that means, twas Get High/Pot/Weed/Drugs/Let's be Stupid Day. This day caused the druggies/wannabe druggies to prance around the school and ask everyone if they were "participating in Get High Day at the Y." Meaning if they were going to go smoke behind the Y and get high. Okay so I personally do not understand the meaning of this. First of all why would you go behind the freaking Y in the first place? Do you realize that it is literally 20 feet away from City Hall also where the Police station is??? You're just asking to get caught and I truly do not understand.
Anywaysss, my non-druggie friends (Danya and Melissa and Heather) and I decided to direct our energy and auras to healthier activities. After school, we went to our favorite Starbucks. My drug of choice was Vanilla Chai Tea Latte. DELISHHH. After that, (Now only Danya and Melissa) we took a trip on over to Coldstone Creamery to visit the Wonderful OttoMANNNN. We hung out there for awhile and transformed into trolls that stir stew in cauldrons and get into devilish staredowns with the Manager's Evil Wife. This staredown caused us to say goodbye to Otto and to hike over to Borders. Except not hike. So at Borders, we ran into the Mr. John Hartl and we chatted it up with him about how he is looking for Tide Charts. Yes, Tide Charts. After that, my Wondrous Madre picked Melissa and me up to take us to Regal in Foothill to see the much anticipated by Joanna Chiang movie...

IN THE LAND OF WOMEN.

I expected this movie to just be a Drool Fest over my Perfect Man, Adam Brody. It turned out to be MUCH MORE. It was moralical. It was insightful. Deep. Gorgeous. Witty. Beautiful. Amazing. Fabulous. Every good word in the English language describes In the Land of Women. My love for Adam Brody just blossomed even MORE than it already is. Which is a lot a lot a lot.
SO you must must MUST go see this movie.

The only thing that put a damper on this movie for me was the occupants in the seats in front of us. Melissa and I were trying to enjoy the movie to the fullest, but there were approximately 9 little 6th graders giggling and talking the ENTIRE FREAKING TIME. They were writing things on their phones and showing it to each other. IMMATURE MUCH? I gave them a piece of my mind and was like "Hey guys. Do you want to not talk?" angrily. And they were like "Okay sorry." And I say "No you're not." I know, I know, I'm a brat. But they were ruining my man's glorious movie! You don't do that! They continued to be brats by leaning down way in their chairs and giving each other little smooches on the cheeks resulting in "DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN"s from their friends. Embarrassing. Meanwhile I am trying to focus on this movie. But whatever I'm seeing it again with Danya where I can truly embrace this movie, next week SO ITS ALL GOOD!

After the movie, we just hung out for a little outside and tormented the innocent civilians with
"Oh, HE got high today" while we passed by them. It was quite hilarious. We saw a variety of people including the Pungent Phillip Johnson. We greeted with the cool hug resulting in dirty looks by a certain few from our school. But its okay because I spit on their faces.

My father came to pick us up and Melissa Nicole and I had a slumber party consisting of cleaning my room which takes approximately an hour even with the help of Super Nanny Melissa. We painted our nails and took pictures of people in the yearbook. "IS THAT YOU (insert name)???" HUH. LARE. EE. USSS. Fersure. And just had a jolly time in each other's company.

Overall, I had a really really good night. Like super good. Fabulous, actually.

Four Twenty is a day to rejoice. And not in the way of the druggies.

MY APOLOGIESSSSS

2007-04-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

My royal subjects...
I have not been able to muster up the time to post in the last week. I haven't touched my computer for 4 days. FOUR DAYS. Do you understand that? That is a record for Joanna Chiang. BUT I extend my apologies upon you all. I hope you forgive me. But, if you do not, I have a surefast way to get you to forgive me and this is by telling you about my jampacked week and the festivities that filled it.

Well one issue is that I had a LARGELARGELARGE Geometry project due on Thursday. This was a Tesselation Project and I had to draw a scene/picture on a standard sized posterboard. I chose a sun and sky. This does not sound like a big deal, does it? WELL, I had to tesselate 9 different sections meaning I had to make 9 different sections of the sun and tesselate them with different shapes and patterns in EACH SECTION and I had to meet the requirements of Ms. G to the Reco. And this woman has high expectations! And, I had to color each individual shape in COLORED PENCIL. Do you understand how LONG this takes? Tesselating it itself takes approximately 8 hours straight. Now, I did this over the length of 3 days. Then the last day, the day before it was due, I hadn't started coloring. The coloring itself took I am not kidding, 9 hours. I got home that day at 3:15. I stayed up coloring with my Madre until 12:00. RIDICULOUS? I THINK YES.

On top of that, half of my Anne Frank essay was due that same day. That took me another hour.
AND I had Track. AND zero period.

So I'm sure I have convinced you to sympathize with me.
I will make it up to you. I shall post like a posting machine that has 854 horsepower. Okay.

DO NOT WORRY

2007-04-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

Well this week shall be a very jampacked week filled with TRACKTRACKTRACK and HOMEWORK and TWO PROJECTS and ONE ESSAY and ONE MASSIVE EXAM and OTHER NOT SO MASSIVE TESTS and HIGH SCHOOL REGISTRATION PACKETS and ALL THAT FUNKAY JAZZZZ. (this is not a dramatization)
I have such an incredible amount of things I must get done this week.
So as you can see, I don't think this leaves so much time for you my bloggity children. But fear not! I have many started blogs in my Drafts section. I shall finish and perfect them for your reading pleasure as soon as I get some down time! Do not lose hope in me. For I shall make the ABA (Amazing Bloggers Assocation or Amazing Bloggers Anonymous or Awesome Bloggers Anonymous etc etc) proud. I'm sure of it. So stay tuned my festoons.

The Adventures of Flat Larson && Joanna Chiang

2007-04-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

Well, readers. It is time for the much awaited for FLAT LARSON POST!

April 12, 2007 - Flat Larson was born.

Here is him being created:

Flat Larson is a creature of many qualities. He has shoulder length black hair and side swept bangs. He has orange blush on and a watermelon shaped mouth. His attire consists of technicolor overalls with the letter 'L' embroidered on the pocket. She adorns a large straw hat with a rainbow band on it. She wears a blue choker and does the peace sign 24/7.

OH! And she has a pitchfork. Thought you'd like to know!

THURSDAY:
So Flat Larson and I didn't have many things to do on Thursday (aka The Official Flat Me Day) but we made the most of it. Here's what we did...

Watched television consisting of mainly The Oprah Winfrey Show

Had a jolly time on the computer

And that's basically it. The whole day. I know..Eventful right?

HARK! But then, my dear madre offers to take me and some friends to the movie. Just out of the blue ya know. I didn't even say anything to her and she just offers. To take AND pickup. I guess she was feeling generous. SO of course I say yes and I invite the beautious Heather Leith and Flat Jgretl.
We decide to see Meet the Robinsons also known as the most amazing movie in the world, but that's another story.

Here are some things that Flat Larson did at the movies...

Had a play date with the Robinsons

Met up with Porous John Travolta

Gorged on a delicious Greek Salad

And washed it down with a little root beer

All in all, Flat Larson had a fabulous day filled with great adventures. Unfortunately, Flat Larson survived many more adventurous adventures, but being the flakey woman that she is, Joanna did not document them because of the forgettingness of a camera. She truly apologizes.

P.S. Sorry for the sideways pictures and the delay on this post. (:

Flat Larson Day

2007-04-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

Allo. Allo. Happy Flat Person Day!
In my case, it's Flat Larson Day.

Well, my friends. I'm sure you guys can identify with me when I say that I have had an uneventful day. Everybody has days when you just chill at home and do nothing but watch TV and go on the computer. And today is one of those days.
It just so happens to be Flat Larson Day. So I'm afraid to say that my dear Flat Larson did not get much action today.

SOO TO MAKE AMENDS TO FLAT LARSON AND GIVE HIM ALL THAT HE DESERVES....
I'm going to officially extend my personal Flat Larson Day until SATURDAY! I think that is fair. This way, Flat Larson will get his much needed adventures.

SO Beware of a Flat Larson post in the next few days. Then I shall reveal all that Flat Larson and I have done in these couple days. It will be UHAMAMZINGNGAING

Bloggers All Around. (aka Danya and Melissa)

2007-04-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

So what is the dealio with all the unbloggingness? Now I can understand the mania of yelling at me for not blogging. To see the same post at the top of your blog is disheartening. Truly.
Now bloggers. Okay you know what? I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm not going to protect your identities.
DANYA GENEVIEVE ELKURD AND MELISSA SPICEY CRIPE. You have not blogged in over a MONTH. That is a travesty. Have you fallen off the face of this flat earth? I don't understand. What is the meaning of your hiatus from blogging? There was no warning. Nothing at all that you were not going to blog in forever.
What happens to your loyal fans then? HUH? HUH? THE ONES THAT CHECK YOUR BLOG EVERYDAY IN HOPES OF A NEW POST? Well. I hope that gives you a little something to think about.
Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if the two women called Danya Genevieve ElKurd and Melissa Spicey Cripe don't even read this enlightening post because they have disconnected with the Blogging World altogether. Shame. Shame to your family.
This brings a damper to my lonesome heart. But I will forgive. I will forgive you Unblogging Fiends. But do not be mistaken, my friends. That does not by any means mean that I shall forget. Because I do not forget. And I will not forget the place my heart was in when I did not blog for approximately 2 months. Because that was not a happy place.
And my heart goes out to you.

END.

MONA LEEEESSAAAAA

2007-04-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

Hello, my little wombat children.
So, today in my boredom, I was on Youtube searching for unlikely videos and what not. I stumbled upon a masterpiece. Literally.
Here's a little summary of the video.

Basically, EclecticAsylumArt makes videos of him creating art in unusual ways.
Some things he likes to draw/paint/whatnot are famous "Youtube Celebrities" such as Smosh, LisaNova, MuggleSam and Geriatric1927. But there's a catch. He draws them in different styles. For example, he drew the Smosh men in BIC pen. As in ballpoint pens. Crazy? YES MAAM. He also drew Sophia from MuggleSam (the cutest little girl ALIVEEE) with crayons. And it looks SO COOL. And they're all realistic and it's amazing. So now that you have a background of Eclectic Asylum, his next feat was drawing the Mona Lisa. But as always, he must find a difficult way to do this. Guess what he used? PAINT. As in Paint which is on every computer and that you can draw diddly squat on. HE IS CRAZED. So to my amazement, this video is less than 5 minutes long and it shows you the whole process of the creation fast forwarded. The actual drawing took 2 hours and 30 minutes. It's like. Amazing and it looks EXACTLY like the Mona Lisa. It's CUH RAZYY. Watch the whole thing. You will be amazed. Tell me what you think of it!
ENJOY!

NEW NEW NEW

2007-04-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

Joanna has officially changed her blog layout.
This is an awakening. This marks the day when Joanna Chiang will become a better blogging woman. It is a fresh start. Oh yes it is.

So allllll youuuuu sucka MCs ain't got nothin on me.
From my grades to my lines
You can't touch ~~Kevin G~~ Joanna C

And now you guys can actually comment my posts.
SO DO IT.

Happy almost Easter (:

PS. I hope you enjoyed my little Mean Girls Nostalgia.

dkehghjdfhdhsanhhhdqjadf

2007-04-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

I fail at life.
I need a therapist.
Any takers?

THAT'S NOT HEALTHY.

2007-03-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

Alright. So, I know I am not a great blogger due to the fact that I post approximately once a month. But, here's the thing. I am in Health with Mrs. Lukin this trimester and she's teaching us to make goals. And guess what, I'm making a goal for myself. And you know what that goal is? To blog more. And you know what? Goals take TIME, okay? Goals don't just pop out in an instant like Easy Bake. Okay? So my beautiful blog friends, you are going to be patient with Joanna. I cannot believe the words you choose to direct at Joanna. They are hurtful. So hurtful. SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH. And you're not going to make snide remarks about my blogging habits. It takes a toll on me. And that's just not healthy, in the words of Mrs. Lukin. Do you WANT me to be unhealthy? Do you WANT me to be stressed by your harsh words? I hope not because if you do infact, then I'd have to rethink my friendships. And I don't want to take the liberties of doing that. That's just not healthy, okay?

This is just a little memorandum to all of you crude people: I AM OFFICIALLY OFFENDED BY YOUR COMMENTS. I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR CRUELNESS TO ME AS I AM TRYING. I AM DOING MY BEST TO PUMP OUT THESE POSTS, OKAY? I WORK 45 HOURS A WEEK. I JUST CANNOT HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF WORKING 9 HOURS A DAY, CHAUFERRING THE CHILDREN AND THEIR FRIENDS AROUND, PLEASING MY BOSS, BEING HEALTHY LIKE MRS. LUKIN IS INSTRUCTING, EATING GARLIC, BOWING TO SENIORMAN, KEEPING UP WITH THE SPRINKLER RAVE SCENE, BEING JONJEH, AND ON TOP OF THAT, ALL YOU NASTY PEOPLE WANT ME TO BLOG MORE? YOU WANT ME TO BLOGGG MORE? IS THAT A JOKE? I HOPE IT IS BECAUSE ITS JUST NOT FUNNY. AND THAT'S NOT HEALTHY.

On another note, I applaud you for your directness (dy-rect-ness) This has been one big wakeup call to the Dogman. Apparently, I am worse than Danya at blogging. She has posted approximately 3 posts. That is sad. And I am worse than her in the eyes of you evil monguls. I must exceed Danya Elkurd. I must. Tis my goal. And Junz does not give up. She goes after her goals. Because that's the healthy thing to do.

SO all you conniving scoundrels, just you wait. For the Jonjeh Beast will unleash sooner than you expect. I will pledge to post more and be an interesting fellow. I will soon trump the Heathmeister in blogness. Yes, tis a large task to take on. But Jonjeh Beast..Well, she's up for the challenge. You wombats will see. ONE DAY. ONE DAY JONJEH BEAST WILL REIGN. JONJEH BEAST WILL REIGN OVER YOU ALL AND TAKE OVER THE BLOGGING WORLD. just you wait....

P.S. I am aware of the bizarreness of this post. But, when Dogman gets fired up, you will face the wrath. of Jonjeh Beast. Period. Have a nice day.

Artie is Beautiful

2007-03-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Okay. So i realized after approximately 15 years that Artie doesn't work on my post.
So, for your convenience, here are the links.

Artie Numero 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7jU2BNcKUk

Artie Numero 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJNORLhN22g

Artie Numero 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPx266rGw3E

Enjoy the Dogman Leader.

the hills are ALIVEEE

2007-03-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

Julie Andrews, Julie Andrews, Julie Andrews. Oh how you cheer me up with your wholesome voice. She has inspired me to write a post about MY favorite things. (Actually, twas Ms. Heather Leith who was inspired by Ms. Allison Hibbard, but I'm sure they shall hate me for life. And that's what I aim for, right?) I have too many favorite things. Here is a condensed version of things that make me happy:

-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Max Crumm.
-Grease YTOTIW!
-Being Crummbelievable. Oh wait. that's 24/7.
-Magazines
-Jonjeh
-Yellow!
-Herbal Essences
-Thousand Pines
-Cold beds especially hotel ones
-SHOES
-Clean bathrooms
-Church.
-SUMMER
-24 Pack Crayola Colored Pencils
-Sprinkler Raves
-The OC :(
-Heritage (the store)
-the Sun.
-Urban Outfitters' Eccentrified-ness in all it's glory.
-Avril Lavigne's first album
-SFS
-Orange Converse
-Dogman Seniorman Bonding.
-Being jokingly mean is THE best.
-Heather Leith
-Rachel Patla. wait no just kidding. I hate her.
-Melissa Cripe
-Zeinah Kara
-Danya Elkurd
-Nicknames
-Perfume
-Weird Hello Kitty Stuff
-Cheesy Pickup Lines.
-Wicked
-John Legend
-iPods
-Starbucks.
-Starbucks Mints.
-The Beatles. and John Lennon
-Being touchyfeely. i LOVE it. Heather shares my passion.
-Digital Cameras
-Nail Polish
-Origins
-Dogs that put their head out the car window with their tongue wagging around.
-Audrey Hepburn!!
-Being with Seniorman everyday after school and being bizarre.
-Artie.
-Music.
-BOYS! Especially ones with good shoes.
-KJ52. Even though I did not experience him.
-SWOONING. I LOVE TO SWOON. PERIOD.
-J.A.M.!!!
-hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!!!
-Getting kicked out of the library.
-JONJEH WAKE UP man. EESHIE!
-Being called Michael Mojdahedi by Mrs. Ginny Kutcher.
-People. Homo Sapiens. Human Beings in general.
-Bizarreness.
-the Lord.
-Life. it's beautiful.

Yes, that was condensed.
I'm absolutely sure I forgot something. I just don't know what.. Remind me?

jonjeh no like.

2007-03-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

i am not dead.
i just suck at blogging. period.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-19T14:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, so basically..I haven't blogged in over a month. And the beautiful Heather Leith has been getting on my back about it. And I finally have a reason to post. I have a reason for life and to live. I have a reason to smile. I have a reason to laugh. I have a reason to gnaw from the back of my throat. I have a reason to be Dogman. Period.
So here's the dealio. Jackie Peppler posted a bulletin entitled "I JUST PEEEED MY PANTS" (Don't ask me why she's my friend on SPIZZLE) Anyways, I opened it.
BEHOLDDDD. I see a bizarre man. Actually, there are no words for it. I shall just post it here for all to see.
Here is the video that started a craze for JunzJunz.

So do you now understand the sensational craze that has overcome the Junzjunz? He is a sensation. He inspires me. I wish to do an interpretive dance to him. I love this man. I laughed SO INCREDIBLY HARD when I saw this. He made me laugh more than Smosh. That is truly saying something. I love Artie. So, that was Strange Noises and Faces I Can Make NUMERO 3!!! MEANING THERES 2 MORE!!! So, I went on a desperate search for these. To my delight, I found them. And I am now posting here for your delight.

NUMERO UNOOO

AMAZING, RIGHT???

NUMERO DOOSSSOSSOSOSO

ARTIE, YOU ARE THE HILARITY OF THE WORLD. YOU DOGMAN SPECIES YOU!!

So there is my blog for the day. Amazing amazing amazing. I'm thinking he is the Dogman Species Leader. HOKAY. SIGNING OFFFF FOR NOWWW.

2 with but one ____

2007-01-27T22:23:00.000-08:00

heathDOGGY: its been real. we are two minds with but one brain.
heathDOGGY: two hearts with but one beat.
heathDOGGY: two souls with but one shoe.
miss JUNNA: 2 olives with but one pit.
heathDOGGY: oh my.
heathDOGGY: that is from alfalfa.
miss JUNNA: 2 shoes with but one foot.
heathDOGGY: two feel with but one tendon.
heathDOGGY: feet
miss JUNNA: 2 big toes with but one toenail.
heathDOGGY: two toenails with but one fungus.
miss JUNNA: that tops it off, right there.

heather leith=joanna chiang

we are the same.

MALL WITH SENIORMAN

2007-01-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

today. i had bonding time with the one and only seniorman. and it was a mixture of emotions.
anxiety attacks, nervousness, happiness, anger, etc etc.
not going to go into details because there are mucho and i dont feel like it.
but to put it in a nutshell
we went to american eagle first and so i was planning on getting these shorts, pants, and a shirt. so i bought it. and THEN i forgot i had this 10% off thing. AFTER they rung it all up. so i had paid with 3 different kinds of payment. so good ol' niko is like: its gonna be really hard. i dont think you can do it. but then they found a way. and i got a whole big 6 buckeroos back.
so then we went to heritage. and i found the most GORGEOUS things. i had 58 dollars left... it didnt work out. it came to 67 dollars. so. i had to put something on hold. but they can't put antyhing on hold on the weekends. so. ii was gonna borrow 10 bucks form danya's mom and come back. SO. when i come back like. an hour later, the shirt is gone. and i am pissed. so i had to get it in a different color. but whatevsss. so the result of heritage = these GORGEY brown skinny jeans. with zippers but one was broken :/ but my mom is fixing it. and then a grey plain sweater. yum. and a pink tanktop with a gorge design. so. all in all, pretty successful.
i saw so many things that i wanted soo badly but i was BRIZOKEE. like these AMAZING black skinny jeans at nordstrom that make my butt look superbly beautiful. but they were 59 dollars. yeah no. OKAY THIS IS ALL RAMBLING.

SO TO SUMMARIZE TODAY WAS GREAT AND I GOT NEW CLOTHES THAT ARE REALLY CUTE.
i am so excited for grease tomorrowwww HOLLYWOOD WITH THE GALPALSS.
I AM SO TIRED. GOING TO SLEEP SOON.
i love you world. thank you for being great to me. SHLOMITY

my ears are ringing. but they're HAPPY

2007-01-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

(I wrote this right after i got home from the concert last night, but i didn't post it because my internet wasn't working. so pretend it's last night)

What is the definition of happiness? it's different for everybody but Joanna Chiang's definition of happiness = Summer Wilshire, Sun From Shadow, Avner, and a crappy band called John Kanakanaka, on a Friday night at the Vault. Add the most amazing people in the world, some moshing, dancing with You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, seeing negro lips, and maybe some Tropical Skittles...There is your perfect Friday night. I am a happy woman. officially.

so here are the deets..

John Kanakanaka came on and they were interesting to say the least. I honestly think they were worse than Die Queen Die. At least Die Queen Die was entertaining. ish. and looked at the crowd. John Kanaka just closed their eyes or turned their back or looked at their guitar. or concentrated on their drums. :p I truly am puzzled by them. and thank the Lord that was their last show. i can understand why now. I have no sympathy for you, John Kanaka.

THEN SUN FROM SHADOW CAME ON. and it was the gorge of the world. i literally had chills running through my body. especially in Dark House and Here I Am. you guys are amazing and i feel like a proud mother. i cannot wait until the EP comes out! it was just all perfecto. and when carsonian and logan switched to drums and hayden went on the bongos and the blue plastic bucket...THERE WERE ABSOLUTELY NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT. IT WAS SO AMAZING, COOL, GREAT, RAD, SUPERB, EVERYTHING. i love you guys. Sun From Shadow FOREVER. dont stop.

So then AVNER was after and they put on a GREAT show. they worked up the crowd and it was so great. and then the moshing began :] i have a bruise on my foot from that..its my badge of honor. and then that one guy was saying how he wanted to be on the history channel. and everybody was like. dead silent and i was like YOU DO WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES. and then he was laughing. and then when he saw me later he was like "Thanks for backing me up back there. i owe you one" so there is my conversing with the Avner dudeee. it was great. even though he was like 30.

SUMMER WILSHIRE = AFTER AVNER. uhmayzing. we sat outside for most of it because we were super tired, but we heard them loud and proud still. truly brilliant. love love love them. but sun from shadow was still better. SORRY :]

so basically. it was the most amazing night ever. i dont think anything can beat it.

January 26 at the Vault will go down in Joanna Chiang History. Period.

THIS WEEKEND

2007-01-25T19:03:00.000-08:00

this weekend is going to be absolutely CUH-RAZYY!
so..here are the deets..

FRIDAY - Sun From Shadow CONCERT at the VAULTTT!!
i am so incredibly excited for this. we're gonna go and make friends with emo/scenesterss that are in bands called Die Queen Die or something along those lines. and we're going to be in the very front. and have a grand old time. this event is not for pansies, let me tell ya. it's pretty hardxcore stuff. :P

SATURDAY - mall with the Seniorman (aka Danya) and the Zeinsterr. then Epic Movie after!

SUNDAY - Grease You're The One That I Want! TAPINGGG
i can't wait for this! HOLLYWOOD WITH THE GIRLS! Melissa, Rachel, Danyellio, and ZZ.. the live taping for the show plus we're going to the grove afterwards or beforewards. i'm not sure. but we're gonna have a mucho sweet time. but heather isn't coming which i'm totally bummed about. :[ BUT, we get to see the hunkman called Austin Miller. the one with the 58 pack.
i am ready to SWOON. BRING IT ONNNN

MONDAY - Natalie's BIRTHDAY/HOUSE PARTYY hopefully. 12-4 PM. we're gonna get our groooove on.

1/26-1/29 = rad.

2007-01-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

Top 4 Reasons Why Dogman is Dogman

4. She was a pink buddha when she was a young tot.

3. She wears orange socks that make her feet look like squashes.

2. She is found Frida Kahlo-ing it up all the time.

1. Her Grandpappy Dale mistakes her fingers for turkey sausages and occassionally nibbles on them.

Memoirs of a Flower Child

60TH POST!!!

Dear Project Runway,

Meet Papa Chiang

FAT FAT FAT!

my canyon escape (:

fun (:

discovery!

wow.

:D

YESTERDAY!

TWO IN ONE !!

TEN TEN TEN

I AM JEDI !!

JAH

i'm turning into RKP !

i'm a losaaaar

MY TOESIES!

kissykisssyyyy

melissa CRAP

7.20 and a REQUEST

V to the BALL

NEW NEW NEW

SHAME

HOO

Mehmet My Love

i am an interesting woman

NEW FOUND PASSIONNNNNNNN

help.

elvis outside my window?

My Perfect Man

FOUR TWENTY

MY APOLOGIESSSSS

DO NOT WORRY

The Adventures of Flat Larson && Joanna Chiang

Flat Larson Day

Bloggers All Around. (aka Danya and Melissa)

MONA LEEEESSAAAAA

NEW NEW NEW

dkehghjdfhdhsanhhhdqjadf

THAT'S NOT HEALTHY.

Artie is Beautiful

the hills are ALIVEEE

jonjeh no like.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 ______ with but one __________

MALL WITH SENIORMAN

my ears are ringing. but they're HAPPY

THIS WEEKEND

Top 4 Reasons Why Dogman is Dogman

2 with but one ____