Joanna has the superb urge to blog.
There is a problem at hand.
She doesn't know what to blog about.
Nothing is blog-worthy in this woman's life.
This is where you, my loyal readers, come in.

Tis time for you to give me suggestions for what to blog about.
I'd appreciate Lists. For example, What Annoys You. Except SPICIERRR.
Preferably something that I can actually compose a good post about. Not something completely and utterly bizarre that I can only think of one thing.
I know I'm asking a lot.
But for the sake of mankind...Please?

I'll be waiting (:




So, I guess there's a party a couple streets away from my house. And, there is a horrible Elvis impersonator singing Viva Las Vegas and various other Elvis Presley songs. Very. Very. Very. Very. VERY. Loud. And plus there's a buttload of drunk women screammmmmmmming. And do you realize that I can hear all of this through my bedroom window? I can't see where this racket is coming from, but it is disturbing the peace.
A part of me really wants to go join this shindig, but then that would just be bizarre. And plus it's 11 PM. That would not be ethical.

WHAT. NOW THE SWEET ESCAPE IS PLAYING? I AM SO BIZARRED. I THOUGHT IT WAS ELVIS IMPERSONATOR NIGHT. BIZARRRRE. I don't understand this party. Before the Elvis Impersonator, there was like..Bingo/Raffle? Something like that and it was an infectious African American woman as the announcer host thing. So then after this Bingo/Raffle Ordeal, Elvis kicks off his hour-long performance of assorted Elvis songs. Now, the Sweet Escape is playing. By Gwen Stefani. This is a bizarre party that I don't understand the meaning of. Bingo plus Elvis impersonators plus Gwen Stefani does not equal a party.

So now I have decided I will document this party as it is happening. And I apologize for the poor form of Blogging-ness that this Post shall have because I will not be editing it. I am typing as it is happening from the depths of outside my window.

NOW FERGALICIOUS IS PLAYING?!?!
I hear an array of women WOOOO-ing. I'm guessing a bottle or 10 of champagne was involved? I can picture a bunch of intoxicated 30-something Orange County women having this party and having a blast. Oh dear... I think there's a DJ? Because it's not the regularr Fergalicious. I hear some scratching/remixing going on? BIZARRE. 30-SOMETHING YEAR OLD WOMEN DON'T GET DJS TO SCRATCH FOR THEM AT PARTIES. ISN'T THAT LIKE. FROM THE 90'S? THIS IS 2007 MY LADIES. I'm so bizarrrrred.
Now they're announcing winners? 1st place is Sydney! Followed by hysterical screaming and clapping.
FOLLOWED RIGHT AWAY BY MY HUMPS. WHATT THE HECKKKKKKKKK. Honestly? I'm speechless and I don't know what to do. My mom just told me to close the window but I was like NO. I'M LISTENING TO A PARTY. And she rolled her eyes and left. (:
My Humps has adjourned. NOW I HEAR A CHORUS OF I LIKE BIG BUTTS???????
I WANNA GET WITCHYAA AND TAKE YO PICTCHYAA. The line of making "me so horny" brought upon a LARGE OUTCOME of screams of the word "horny." YOU DON'T DO THAT.
This is vulgarity to its full extent. I don't appreciate 30 year old women listening to this and enjoying it. I really don't.
PLAY THAT FUNKAY MUSIC WHITEBOYYYY...Only a few lines of this 70's favorite.
It has quickly changed to I WILL SURVIVE. Another crowd pleaser. Maybe they're not feeling the funk right now.
3 LITTLE BIRDS SAT ON MY WINDOWW. Corinne Bailey Rae after I will Survive. Great choice, ladies. I really don't understand this playlist. Not a good transition.
Alright. So now, Yeah by Usher my former love has come on.
This is the puzzlement of the world. This is a crowd pleaser. This has brought upon an even bigger craze of screams.

Okay. So I think I'm done with this blogging extravaganza.
I dont think you readers care about this party.
But twas entertaining for awhile.
I might keep adding on if I hear a little somethin somethin thats interesting.
HOKAY
See you on the FLIP SIDE
my friends. (:




Now, I am not a picky person. But, when it comes down to MEN, I just have a few criteria that I would prefer.

• Witty/Funny/Clever. If he can make me laugh, I will love him forever. However, do not confuse this with TRYING to be funny. He must be genuinely funny...his actions have to make me laugh. Carefree hilarity is the BEST. If he's not funny even the slightest bit, then he's definitely not the man for me.
• Shoes. Good shoes. Not gross chunky running shoes. I don't care if he looks like he's been living in a gutter. As long as he has good shoes, he's cool in my book. They don't even have to be clean. A little dirt is good for everyone. That's not asking so much, right?
• Dark hair (: I am not so into blondes to tell you the truth. Unless it's dark dark blonde..almost brown. Then I can bear it. But blondes are just so... stereotypical hunkman. and I don't like typical.
• Smile. If he has an infectious smile, I will SWOOOOON. I don't mean Crest White Strips Commercial smile, but a good fun-loving smile. That also doesn't mean plaque-infested teeth that are green. I will probably shun you if you have green teeth. If his smile lights up the room, he will light up my life.
• Laid back. I want a man who can just hang out with me without going out somewhere exciting. My company should just be enough. And uptight-ness is not attractive.
• Fun & Playful. We must be able to have fun anywhere we go.
• EYESEYESEYES! Not what they look like, but... how you use your eyes? I don't like when people can't make eye contact with you.
• Healthy. If he likes to put crap in his body, I'm not down with that. The occasional fast food isn't bad but if you're killing yourself with GREASY foods, then that's bad. Everything in moderation.
• Intelligent & Thoughtful. If I can have an enjoyable and intelligent conversation with him then that's a big plus.
• Open. He has to be open to new things and willing to try anything.
• Spontaneous. Boring is boring. No boring in my life. Be spontaneous with me!
• Romantic. Not like romantic restaurants...unconventional romantic if that makes sense.
• Taller than me! I'm tall-ish. Taller than 5'7 isn't hard for most guys. Preferably a couple inches taller though. Think at least 5'10.
• Complex. I don't want to be able to know everything about him right off the bat.
• Tolerant. This doesn't mean "Hey. Look a gay person. I'm not going to prosecute them, but I don't agree with their lifestyle." This means "Everyone is equal. Gay, straight, black, hispanic, asian, white. It doesn't matter." That is one of my many philosophies in life and if he shares this philosophy, that would be nice.
• Quirky. He has to have his own little quirks that I can't even dream up.

My perfect man will be his own person. Not a duplicate of me in male form & not like one in the movies.

So that is a REALLY long list. I'm definitely not expecting him to have every single one of those qualities or whatnot. Those are just things that are attractive in the eyes of Joanna Chiang and any one of those qualities would be great.

So..PERFECT MAN? COME FIND ME!

(cheeeeesyy^^^)

I expected this movie to just be a Drool Fest over my Perfect Man, Adam Brody. It turned out to be MUCH MORE. It was moralical. It was insightful. Deep. Gorgeous. Witty. Beautiful. Amazing. Fabulous. Every good word in the English language describes In the Land of Women. My love for Adam Brody just blossomed even MORE than it already is. Which is a lot a lot a lot.
SO you must must MUST go see this movie.

The only thing that put a damper on this movie for me was the occupants in the seats in front of us. Melissa and I were trying to enjoy the movie to the fullest, but there were approximately 9 little 6th graders giggling and talking the ENTIRE FREAKING TIME. They were writing things on their phones and showing it to each other. IMMATURE MUCH? I gave them a piece of my mind and was like "Hey guys. Do you want to not talk?" angrily. And they were like "Okay sorry." And I say "No you're not." I know, I know, I'm a brat. But they were ruining my man's glorious movie! You don't do that! They continued to be brats by leaning down way in their chairs and giving each other little smooches on the cheeks resulting in "DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN"s from their friends. Embarrassing. Meanwhile I am trying to focus on this movie. But whatever I'm seeing it again with Danya where I can truly embrace this movie, next week SO ITS ALL GOOD!

After the movie, we just hung out for a little outside and tormented the innocent civilians with
"Oh, HE got high today" while we passed by them. It was quite hilarious. We saw a variety of people including the Pungent Phillip Johnson. We greeted with the cool hug resulting in dirty looks by a certain few from our school. But its okay because I spit on their faces.

My father came to pick us up and Melissa Nicole and I had a slumber party consisting of cleaning my room which takes approximately an hour even with the help of Super Nanny Melissa. We painted our nails and took pictures of people in the yearbook. "IS THAT YOU (insert name)???" HUH. LARE. EE. USSS. Fersure. And just had a jolly time in each other's company.

Overall, I had a really really good night. Like super good. Fabulous, actually.

Four Twenty is a day to rejoice. And not in the way of the druggies.




My royal subjects...
I have not been able to muster up the time to post in the last week. I haven't touched my computer for 4 days. FOUR DAYS. Do you understand that? That is a record for Joanna Chiang. BUT I extend my apologies upon you all. I hope you forgive me. But, if you do not, I have a surefast way to get you to forgive me and this is by telling you about my jampacked week and the festivities that filled it.

Well one issue is that I had a LARGELARGELARGE Geometry project due on Thursday. This was a Tesselation Project and I had to draw a scene/picture on a standard sized posterboard. I chose a sun and sky. This does not sound like a big deal, does it? WELL, I had to tesselate 9 different sections meaning I had to make 9 different sections of the sun and tesselate them with different shapes and patterns in EACH SECTION and I had to meet the requirements of Ms. G to the Reco. And this woman has high expectations! And, I had to color each individual shape in COLORED PENCIL. Do you understand how LONG this takes? Tesselating it itself takes approximately 8 hours straight. Now, I did this over the length of 3 days. Then the last day, the day before it was due, I hadn't started coloring. The coloring itself took I am not kidding, 9 hours. I got home that day at 3:15. I stayed up coloring with my Madre until 12:00. RIDICULOUS? I THINK YES.

On top of that, half of my Anne Frank essay was due that same day. That took me another hour.
AND I had Track. AND zero period.

So I'm sure I have convinced you to sympathize with me.
I will make it up to you. I shall post like a posting machine that has 854 horsepower. Okay.




Well this week shall be a very jampacked week filled with TRACKTRACKTRACK and HOMEWORK and TWO PROJECTS and ONE ESSAY and ONE MASSIVE EXAM and OTHER NOT SO MASSIVE TESTS and HIGH SCHOOL REGISTRATION PACKETS and ALL THAT FUNKAY JAZZZZ. (this is not a dramatization)
I have such an incredible amount of things I must get done this week.
So as you can see, I don't think this leaves so much time for you my bloggity children. But fear not! I have many started blogs in my Drafts section. I shall finish and perfect them for your reading pleasure as soon as I get some down time! Do not lose hope in me. For I shall make the ABA (Amazing Bloggers Assocation or Amazing Bloggers Anonymous or Awesome Bloggers Anonymous etc etc) proud. I'm sure of it. So stay tuned my festoons.

Here is him being created:

Flat Larson is a creature of many qualities. He has shoulder length black hair and side swept bangs. He has orange blush on and a watermelon shaped mouth. His attire consists of technicolor overalls with the letter 'L' embroidered on the pocket. She adorns a large straw hat with a rainbow band on it. She wears a blue choker and does the peace sign 24/7.


OH! And she has a pitchfork. Thought you'd like to know!


THURSDAY:
So Flat Larson and I didn't have many things to do on Thursday (aka The Official Flat Me Day) but we made the most of it. Here's what we did...


Watched television consisting of mainly The Oprah Winfrey Show



Had a jolly time on the computer

And that's basically it. The whole day. I know..Eventful right?


HARK! But then, my dear madre offers to take me and some friends to the movie. Just out of the blue ya know. I didn't even say anything to her and she just offers. To take AND pickup. I guess she was feeling generous. SO of course I say yes and I invite the beautious Heather Leith and Flat Jgretl.
We decide to see Meet the Robinsons also known as the most amazing movie in the world, but that's another story.

Here are some things that Flat Larson did at the movies...

Had a play date with the Robinsons

Met up with Porous John Travolta

Gorged on a delicious Greek Salad

And washed it down with a little root beer

All in all, Flat Larson had a fabulous day filled with great adventures. Unfortunately, Flat Larson survived many more adventurous adventures, but being the flakey woman that she is, Joanna did not document them because of the forgettingness of a camera. She truly apologizes.

P.S. Sorry for the sideways pictures and the delay on this post. (:

Allo. Allo. Happy Flat Person Day!
In my case, it's Flat Larson Day.

Well, my friends. I'm sure you guys can identify with me when I say that I have had an uneventful day. Everybody has days when you just chill at home and do nothing but watch TV and go on the computer. And today is one of those days.
It just so happens to be Flat Larson Day. So I'm afraid to say that my dear Flat Larson did not get much action today.

SOO TO MAKE AMENDS TO FLAT LARSON AND GIVE HIM ALL THAT HE DESERVES....
I'm going to officially extend my personal Flat Larson Day until SATURDAY! I think that is fair. This way, Flat Larson will get his much needed adventures.

SO Beware of a Flat Larson post in the next few days. Then I shall reveal all that Flat Larson and I have done in these couple days. It will be UHAMAMZINGNGAING




So what is the dealio with all the unbloggingness? Now I can understand the mania of yelling at me for not blogging. To see the same post at the top of your blog is disheartening. Truly.
Now bloggers. Okay you know what? I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm not going to protect your identities.
DANYA GENEVIEVE ELKURD AND MELISSA SPICEY CRIPE. You have not blogged in over a MONTH. That is a travesty. Have you fallen off the face of this flat earth? I don't understand. What is the meaning of your hiatus from blogging? There was no warning. Nothing at all that you were not going to blog in forever.
What happens to your loyal fans then? HUH? HUH? THE ONES THAT CHECK YOUR BLOG EVERYDAY IN HOPES OF A NEW POST? Well. I hope that gives you a little something to think about.
Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if the two women called Danya Genevieve ElKurd and Melissa Spicey Cripe don't even read this enlightening post because they have disconnected with the Blogging World altogether. Shame. Shame to your family.
This brings a damper to my lonesome heart. But I will forgive. I will forgive you Unblogging Fiends. But do not be mistaken, my friends. That does not by any means mean that I shall forget. Because I do not forget. And I will not forget the place my heart was in when I did not blog for approximately 2 months. Because that was not a happy place.
And my heart goes out to you.

END.




Hello, my little wombat children.
So, today in my boredom, I was on Youtube searching for unlikely videos and what not. I stumbled upon a masterpiece. Literally.
Here's a little summary of the video.

Basically, EclecticAsylumArt makes videos of him creating art in unusual ways.
Some things he likes to draw/paint/whatnot are famous "Youtube Celebrities" such as Smosh, LisaNova, MuggleSam and Geriatric1927. But there's a catch. He draws them in different styles. For example, he drew the Smosh men in BIC pen. As in ballpoint pens. Crazy? YES MAAM. He also drew Sophia from MuggleSam (the cutest little girl ALIVEEE) with crayons. And it looks SO COOL. And they're all realistic and it's amazing. So now that you have a background of Eclectic Asylum, his next feat was drawing the Mona Lisa. But as always, he must find a difficult way to do this. Guess what he used? PAINT. As in Paint which is on every computer and that you can draw diddly squat on. HE IS CRAZED. So to my amazement, this video is less than 5 minutes long and it shows you the whole process of the creation fast forwarded. The actual drawing took 2 hours and 30 minutes. It's like. Amazing and it looks EXACTLY like the Mona Lisa. It's CUH RAZYY. Watch the whole thing. You will be amazed. Tell me what you think of it!
ENJOY!






Joanna has officially changed her blog layout.
This is an awakening. This marks the day when Joanna Chiang will become a better blogging woman. It is a fresh start. Oh yes it is.

So allllll youuuuu sucka MCs ain't got nothin on me.
From my grades to my lines
You can't touch Kevin G Joanna C

And now you guys can actually comment my posts.
SO DO IT.

Happy almost Easter (:

PS. I hope you enjoyed my little Mean Girls Nostalgia.




I fail at life.
I need a therapist.
Any takers?